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Abstract

everyone in the Zoom meeting stares at you. I wasn’t wearing any pants either — but that’s not the point!I absolutely hate holding in my coughs until I pass out. There is constant fear that people will think I’ve got the dreaded ‘rona and will proceed to cover me in hand sanitiser.When I’ve got stuffed sinuses, and a cough that sounds like two jackhammers making love to each other — all I want to do is die in peace.Luckily, my custom T-shirts have arrived with the following slogan:“I’ve tested NEGATIVE, so I have a POSITIVE outlook on life now”This will let you people, the general public, know that despite my coughing I won’t be infecting you with the dreaded bat

Options

virus just yet.Please let me cough without judgement, otherwise I shall sneeze on you and laugh as I do it — it won’t be pretty.Don’t judge my cough — laugh with the cough, befriend the cough, get to know my cough. Only then will you understand that I mean you no harm.Every cough matters ❤Thank you for reading and not judging my sh*t anti-bodies.Lots of coughs and kisses,Adam “The Wheezy Writer” Robinson<figure id="f291"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*6mR7FiGru-8L6nEcVMNgHA.gif"><figcaption>Hilarious gif: <a href="https://tenor.com/search/coughing-gifs">Tenor</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Covid Humor

Open Letter to People Who Think I Have a Covid Cough

I’m ill…but not that ill!

**“I’ve tested positive! This is too much to bare“**— Photo: Kristine Wook on Unsplash

Dear people who think I have Corona…and not the common cold.

‘Tis the season to sneeze and splutter until everyone in the Zoom meeting stares at you. I wasn’t wearing any pants either — but that’s not the point!

I absolutely hate holding in my coughs until I pass out. There is constant fear that people will think I’ve got the dreaded ‘rona and will proceed to cover me in hand sanitiser.

When I’ve got stuffed sinuses, and a cough that sounds like two jackhammers making love to each other — all I want to do is die in peace.

Luckily, my custom T-shirts have arrived with the following slogan:

“I’ve tested NEGATIVE, so I have a POSITIVE outlook on life now”

This will let you people, the general public, know that despite my coughing I won’t be infecting you with the dreaded bat virus just yet.

Please let me cough without judgement, otherwise I shall sneeze on you and laugh as I do it — it won’t be pretty.

Don’t judge my cough — laugh with the cough, befriend the cough, get to know my cough. Only then will you understand that I mean you no harm.

Every cough matters ❤

Thank you for reading and not judging my sh*t anti-bodies.

Lots of coughs and kisses,

Adam “The Wheezy Writer” Robinson