Only Women Can Flirt From Their Windows

Or maybe I’ve missed a flirting class.

A little before noon today, I witnessed a scene that doesn’t happen every day. Or maybe I don’t get out of the house enough, which is half true because right now I live like a bear, but a bear that plays tennis once or twice a week. A dynamic bear who takes care of his figure and does what he can not to abuse the honey. But let’s get back to the subject at hand.

I live almost across the street from a delicious bakery that has won several awards for its pastries and bread, and that, when you put them in your body, makes you feel sensations as powerful as an orgasm. I’m exaggerating a bit, but you’ll see that we’re not out of line when we talk about yeast and sugar-based pleasure.

A little before lunch, I set out to change the white rods and curtains in my kitchen window. They were old and worn, but who cares? The table where I eat my meals is right in front of the window, slightly offset against the wall. I always have my back to the window when I eat, but when it’s open, as it was this lunchtime, I can hear what’s going on in the street and around the bakery. Yeah, I have a good ear.

Every Sunday morning, a fairly long line of gourmands forms in front of the store. But today, only one young man, I would say in his forties, was waiting to enter the bakery as I stood in front of the open window. He was wearing a navy blue t-shirt, tight dark jeans, and black sneakers. Brown hair and a four-day beard. Not a very attractive guy in my opinion. At least, not one to make women fall out of their windows. But wait a minute!

Instead of looking at the delicious pastries winking at passers-by in the window, his gaze was turned towards the houses on the other side of the street, so on my side, and precisely towards the window of my neighbor, a rather sexy blond woman in her forties too. So far so good. And in fact, everything will always be fine in this story. It’s just going to be a little spicy.

To give you some context about this woman: this summer she was often sitting on the terrace of the old restaurant across from my living room window, sometimes surrounded by what seemed to be her daughter, and sometimes by other men. A woman full of energy, talking and laughing loudly, with a few gold necklaces around her neck, thin bracelets on her wrists, and rings on her hands.

A sexy, neat, and attractive woman. Other times I saw her chatting and laughing on the sidewalk of the bakery, always with the same panache but never with the same person. I would say she arrived in the neighborhood earlier this year. I had never seen her before. Back to our proud fellow who seemed distracted by something across the street.

What attracted his attention, and I understood it when I heard laughter and a rather recognizable voice, was my famous neighbor who must have been standing at her window (I couldn’t see her because of a gutter) right in front of the bakery. She seemed to have called out to him while he was waiting for his turn, and I could see from the guy’s look that he was surprised, embarrassed, and… intrigued. At the same time, I understand him, what man wouldn’t be flattered to be challenged by a lovely lady at his window while waiting to buy his wand? I couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other, but the man’s reaction told me that it was the first time they had spoken and that he was not indifferent.

Now we come to the spicy, adult part. Keep your kids out of here! After about ten minutes, the man came out of the bakery holding his baguette under his arm and still glancing at the burning window. No fire in sight, but it was probably getting pretty hot in the lady’s body. I could tell by the look on the man’s face that he was now excited. He took a few steps to the restaurant in front of my other window, still chatting with the woman. It was impossible for me to leave without getting the rest of the story!

It is at this precise moment that I heard the door of the building of my neighbor, the one which gives on the street, open in a noise which I know well. Then I saw the woman cross the street to join our man with the baguette. She was very dressed up for a Sunday morning, not that I expected her to be in jogging suits and fuzzy slippers, but she seemed to be ready for anything. Skinny jeans, cute little pink sweater, little shiny black shoes, and perfectly coiffed. Please excuse me if this is your usual Sunday morning outfit. I’m not used to it.

The two talked for about ten minutes. The woman lit a cigarette and continued to laugh loudly and fidget. The man seemed a little embarrassed by the woman’s ease. You amaze me! I don’t think for a second he would have imagined that he would be in this situation when he came to get his bread on a rainy Sunday morning.

This time I heard the neighbor say: “Stop it, you’re cute! Then, “My daughter often comes to see me”. And finally: “Come on, I invite you!” The woman crossed the street again in the direction of her apartment followed by the man, still holding her wand under his arm but with other projects in mind. The door creaked again, and then I didn’t see or hear anything else.

I tried to imagine what our two fellows did once inside the woman’s apartment. Perhaps they were simply making succulent pate toast with the man’s fresh bread while discussing global warming and Joe Biden’s latest gaffe, but let me doubt it. Still, I didn’t hear or see the man emerge by the time I got my meal. I have a big thought for the baguette that most likely got caught in the middle of a hot scene.

So please help me. What should I take away from what I saw? I’m torn between several life lessons: anything can happen, believe in life (and in 40-year-old women on fire); never go to the bakery without having prepared your mind and body for any eventuality; never ignore a woman who calls out to you from her window; never underestimate the sexual power you can unleash while waiting your turn in front of a bakery; never get your bread without a condom in your pocket.

Apart from these life lessons, I ask myself: what if I also started flirting from my window? Would a woman come up to my house after buying her bread on a rainy Sunday morning? Is this kind of flirting reserved for women? Let me tell you, I would never try! It would be very bad and ridiculous, wouldn’t it? Or am I too uptight?

Either way, I have too much respect for women and baguettes to bother them in such a way. It’s just that I might put on a little more fragrance next time I go across the street to get my bread.