Relationships / Digital Life
5 Reasons Online Friends Are Ridiculously Underrated
Especially during the pandemic
When I was 13, smartphones took over the world.
We started to maintain our friendships through social media. The internet also led to new friendships forming, especially among teenagers. Although social media allowed teenagers to form more friendships, online friendships were ridiculed.
I have a few internet friends. Yes, I am talking about real humans. Over the years, I’ve met them by chance. To this day, I value my digital friendships as much as my real ones.
Here’s why I think internet friendships are underrated.
#1: You don’t know every detail about them — this opens up a world of possibilities
Think about how you formed your current friendships.
You probably knew your friends before you became friendly. Many friendships are formed through mutual friends. You share a familiar circle of friends — but do you share common interests? That’s often not guaranteed.
My Internet friendships came out of the blue. I wasn’t looking for friends, and I wasn’t expecting them. The internet makes it possible to meet people from entirely different countries with whom you share an interest.
All we knew about each other was that we shared a common interest. Otherwise, we didn’t know anything about each other. At first glance, it sounds like a disadvantage — but knowing less about someone’s background gives you the space to get to know them in a much deeper and unbiased way.
Group friendships have another problem. Many friendships of this kind are not strong. It’s not clear to either side how deep the relationship really is since you really only know each other from other friends and may only spend time together within a group.
As Internet friends, you get involved with each other — there are no social dynamics interfering, and communication is based on pure friendship.
#2: There is no need for superficiality
When choosing a partner, we are influenced by a person’s appearance.
But we don’t choose our friends based on looks, do we? I always assumed that, because what good reason would there be to choose your friends based on their looks? After all, I don’t intend to reproduce with my friends.
However, science tells a different story. Along with our partners, we also choose our friends based on their appearances.
Level of attractiveness also comes into play during the initial stages of friendship. Americans tend to be drawn towards beauty, and we tend to believe that attractive people are more like us in their attitudes and values, regardless of where we rank in the world of beauty or style. - Psychology Today
#3: You are already used to the current ways of communication
The pandemic is changing our social relationships. Meeting with large groups of people is close to impossible now. Instead, people turn more and more to FaceTime, WhatsApp, phone calls, and trending apps like House Party.
But the switch is not always easy. Digital communication is different and unusual. Some people fail immediately when using it because of a lack of technical know-how.
FaceTime-ing or texting with people whom you used to see face to face can cause problems. Some friendships depend a lot on physical contact. Some people are just insanely bad at communicating digitally.
Switching to GIFs and Emojis instead of actual facial expressions can make some feel less valued.
Internet friends are already used to relying on digital communication as a way of spending time together. Despite the pandemic, there’s no need to make any changes within your digital friendships. This is precisely why my internet friends have become more important to my wellbeing since Covid-19.
#4: You feel less vulnerable with online friends
Many of my friends went to school with me. They live in the same city as me. We interact with the same people.
Most of the friends we have are single strands in one big spider web.
This network makes us vulnerable. We always have some degree of self-consciousness about the fact that our friends are also in contact with other friends. If you tell your friend something in confidence, they might tell other friends. Everyone is connected somehow — sometimes, it can be uncomfortable.
I was surprised at myself for how quickly I opened up to my internet friends — I didn’t care much about anything I said. After all, they can’t tell anyone else what I tell them, and other friends don’t find out.
#5: There is no common circle of friends
The Covid-19 crisis has torn a gaping hole in our social life.
Parties, concerts, and meetings with several people hardly take place any more. During the crisis, I had much less contact with my in-person friends. The reason for this is not so obvious.
In most countries, it is still permissible to meet with a single friend. That’s not where the problem lies. Many friendships consist of people who are always in a group. In my experience, this is especially true for guys.
Instead of meeting with a single person, people tend to meet in groups. Not meeting alone with another person from the group is like an unwritten law.
Admittedly, I haven’t done it either. With many of my friends, I only meet in our usual circle, so the contact with individuals is relatively low.
With internet friends, the advantage is obvious: a tight circle of friends is almost non-existent. Complication solved.
Not having a circle of friends together also has another advantage: you are much more likely to be a blank slate when meeting new people.
Enough romanticism — where can you find online friends?
As I said, my encounters were purely coincidental. Of course, there are websites where you can search for friends — but you don’t need to.
A common interest is a good basis for a friendship. There are enough small communities on the internet for individual topics. Interacting there makes you aware of others.
If you want, you can also make the first step yourself — respond to a post, or send a personal message. Often a conversation already arises in this way.
Keep in mind not to force anything — it usually seems weird.
Thanks to Rachel Yerks for proofreading & editing.