Mental Health

(Online) Bullying Must Stop

What this mental health issue does with the one who has been bullied.

I’m angry. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m sick. All that because of all the hate that is spread by people who are online bullies.

People who don’t have anything else to do than taking other people’s time. They don’t respect other people's time. They spread hate because these haters do have hate within themselves. People that have been through a lot could become a bully themselves as they are full of hate.

To all the hate spreaders: do you realize what is does with self-respect towards your target? Do you know what this means to the mental health of your target?

I have been bullied when I was in primary and high school. People told me: “You are stupid.”, “You can’t do anything.”, “You are not able to get a proper job.”, “You have lice.” and so much more that it hurts talking about it. But I want to create awareness.

Even my teacher at my primary school told my parent that I am stupid. My parents defended me. Their reaction was like this: “How is she stupid? She plays the violin. When you play the violin or any other instrument you can not be stupid.” The teacher couldn’t say anything else. He was speechless.

People are jealous of what you have and they don’t have and might wish they also could do what you have.

• I play the violin.
• I have freckles.
• I could talk a lot when things matter to me.
• I could be screaming things out if I was happy to go somewhere close to my heart.
• I wore second-hand clothes and most of them I liked very much.
• I was distracted a lot during my school time.
• I was bad at mathematics.
• I had difficulties to understand things the first time, so I needed more than millions of explanations.

And there are so many more things I had and I was, and I still am. But these children couldn’t handle, me, the weirdo, who just did what she loves to do. And they couldn’t handle that I played with a disabled person because that disabled person is now my best friend. I respect people and I don’t judge people because of what you can see. I see the beautiful inner side of someone.

Mental health issues are what bullied people have.

I have mental health issues, like not saying my boundaries. I don’t trust people if I don’t feel comfortable with them, even when they are good people. I don’t believe in myself that often, sometimes I do (because of therapy). And there are so many more mental health issues due to being bullied.

Anxiety for doing things in life

You create anxiety for the daily things in your life when you have been bullied. You create a wall around you where nobody may get in. This could be the smallest things in life, such as doing the laundry or doing the dishes.

First checking the situations before participating

When you are in a new situation, like a conversation with people you have never met, you first listen around and check how everyone reacts, and if you feel safe you participate with them. This reaction could be from that you have been bullied and every time you wanted a conversation or playing with others, you have been left out.

Low self-esteem

After lots of time being neglected by others, unconsciously you think you are not worth being with others because you will think you don’t belong with them. You become silent and don’t say that much. This led to having low esteem with a lot of other things you are doing. I thought I was not good enough with playing the violin, while deep down I knew I had great lessons and I can play the violin.

Not a decision-maker

These negative events, like bullying, could lead to not making decisions. Such as what to eat for dinner, what to play on your playlist, what book to read, and so many more things. With me, it was what I want to do in my career. Now I am a writer.

Al these things I got just because people have bullied me. I am going into therapy soon to get myself in order. I have three daughters to raise. They need me, I need myself and I have to be a good example for them. I have to be in order with myself to be at my best self.

So, this was offline bullying.

What happens when you were bullied online?

This is also the same as offline bullying. It has so many effects on the mental health of the target. In the beginning, you could hold up your shoulders, but when you are the target every day or frequently in your life, you could be tired of it. Your health will be impacted. Your brain will somehow be brainwashed.

• Think about the negative comments that say someone is a fool because of an opinion the writer has.
• Think about the negative comments someone has because the writer doesn’t like the publication the story is in.
• Think about the negative comment under your bully-story that says you have a fat head on your profile picture.
• Think about the negative comment that says that the writer doesn’t understand the point he is making or even lying about what the writer writes about.
• Think about that comment where the commenter says that the writer didn’t research while the writer added great research material.

When you read the negative comments, most of the time you can leave it behind, at least, that is what I have. There are comments out there that you can’t leave behind. They are too harmful to other people. The commenters are not aware of what that means of the mental health of the writer.

When a writer gets a lot of those negative comments, the writer could think negatively about himself. It is not good for the writer’s health. The writer will be emotionally damaged. The writer could get things bad about himself, think that he will not write well, that he is not a good human being. This is only because people write bad about him. While the content is superb. But because of the negativity against the writer, this writer could doubt his superb writing content. That is such a shame. Maybe his content will be low, or he even doesn’t want to write anymore.

That is exactly what these (online) bullies want, so they have space to spread the negativity.

I know, I am negative now.

I am angry, tired and frustrated that there are still people out there being too negative online here.

I highly ask you to think about what your negativity does with someone else.