#Don’t put your lips on me
One Week After a Historic Women’s World Cup, a Man Remains the Talking Point
Why is this a problem and when does this end?
The 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup was one for the history books.
This was the first time the women’s World Cup competition was held in Oceania in the Southern Hemisphere, and hosted by two nations, Australia and New Zealand.
Also record-breaking is the number of teams increased from 24 to 32 in this edition, making for more inclusivity, and different styles of the beautiful game of football.
La Roja, the Spanish team went on to win, after defeating the Lionesses of England on the final day of competition, 1:0. This is the first time Spain has won the Women’s World Cup, becoming the second team after Germany to have won both the male and female editions of the World Cup.
Despite all these stats and record-breaking feats, it is a man who has remained in the news when the FIFA Women’s World Cup is mentioned.
I Googled the FIFA Women’s World Cup Spain win and Rubiales is front and center.
The Spanish football president during the procession for medal acceptance by the players, kissed everyone else on the cheek and hugged them, but decided to put his both hands on Hermoso’s head and kiss her on the mouth.
Now, this would not be an issue if the pair had a relationship that pushed such boundaries, even if platonic. However, it has come to light that they did not have such a relationship and that Hermoso did not consent. The world has rallied around the women and requested that Rubiales resign to show he was wrong to do what he did, and more — on a global stage.
Meanwhile, some men are criticizing the entirety of female football, that it be scrapped if women cannot take a harmless kiss in the heat of excitement. The 46-year-old Rubiales has been throwing tantrums screaming “I will not resign!” in his latest statements, claiming he kissed her like she was his child.
Jennifer Hermoso is a 33-year-old woman for goodness’ sake. She could never be his child.
“Violence and harassment at work is a widespread phenomenon around the world. More than 1 in 5 people have experienced violence and harassment at work.” International Labour Organization
Sexual harassment may include the subtlest of gestures and the most outlandish favors.
“Your ass is coming out more.”
“Are you adding weight or having more sex?”
These were the words of a Supervisor to me, a 22-year-old intern who was starting out her career in Human Resources. I never forget how I felt that day.
I was transfixed. I could not find any words. I smiled in response.
Afterward came the guilt.
Was I not dressed appropriately? — I wore a dress below my knee. It was not tight.
Should I not have smiled? — I don’t know
Was I encouraging him with my smile? — I don’t know
Should I wear more free-flowing dresses instead?
Who knows what he’ll say tomorrow because I smiled in response today.
Well, the next week, he tried to slap my ass as I was leaving his office.
I was so stunned and all but hopped out of there.
When I saw the movie — Bombshell, the pattern was identical. It did not start with outright asking for sexual favors. It starts and continues with the smallest things. Over-complimenting you for physical features that have nothing to do with your work, overdoing favors to keep you over-indebted, and requesting nothing in return, at first, to keep you guessing.
Kissing on the mouth is an intimate gesture, regardless of how many tales the world is spinning about the video, and yes, as a football fan, I have seen male footballers kiss one another time on the mouth when excited after winning a major competition or scoring a big goal, but there is usually precedent of a very close-knit relationship.
Hermoso has said there is nothing of such with the Football president and Rubiales himself has said there isn’t any and compared her to his child.
Why is the world making this a big deal?
It is a big deal.
This sexual harassment was witnessed by the world, and keeping quiet will create the perfect example for sexual predators to cite when called out.
At this time, 53 Spanish players, including all 23 members of the 2023 World Cup squad, have signed a letter supporting Hermoso, pledging to refrain from playing for Spain’s national team until there were changes in the leadership of the RFEF <Royal Spanish Football Federation>. Rubiales has been provisionally suspended for 90 days and banned from making contact with Hermoso.
Rubiales is calling this an attempt “to publicly assassinate me” and said he would defend himself by “taking action” against those people. He has not seen anything wrong with what he’s done, much more in front of a global audience. At least, the world is talking about him.
I followed the men’s World Cup in December 2022. The final was a fierce contest between Kylian Mbappe and Lionel Messi who later captained his side to their first-ever World Cup Trophy.
Two months later, the hype about it was still high. Word on the street was — Who would win the Ballon d’Or and who was the better player between the veteran Messi and wunderkind, Mbappe.
But, trust a man to insert himself forcibly into a conversation about, and for women in the most nonsensical manner just to take the spotlight.
This is the bigger problem.
When this ground-breaking contest of global glory for women in football will be discussed ten years from today, Rubiales will always come up in those conversations. ALWAYS.
Women cannot do their best and celebrate their greatness, in peace.
“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” — Maya Angelou
References
- Spanish soccer chief says he’ll “fight until the end” rather than resign over unsolicited kiss — CBSNEWS.com
- Violence and harassment at work has affected more than one in five people — International Labour Organization
- Jennifer Hermoso — Wikipedia