One Way That The Pandemic Has Made Us Worse People

It has to do with all our online meetings

I wrote a piece a month ago about how the pandemic made us better people.

Here is one way the pandemic made us worse.

On a recent seven am conference, the likes of which used to be held in a large auditorium, the presenter standing at the front of the room, defending her paltry PowerPoint slides against the onslaught of hindsight and self-righteousness, now held on Zoom as people sleepily call in from their beds, or listen half heartedly as they perform their morning rituals: toothbrushing, eating, shitting. Video off and muted. Only partially participating. That would be the worst offense in and of itself, except that I’ve noticed, in my infrequent listening, that the attacks have gotten more aggressive, more vile. Your name is on the screen, of course, and we’ve all met in real life, but, protected by the anonymity of the virtual space, people unleash their inner demons.

The victim, without the visual aid of tears or even a furrowed brow and gritted teeth — remains silent.

On another call I heard about, people screamed abuses at each other, in a way I have never seen when people are sitting across from each other at a conference table or in a lecture hall. I have to believe that: a) we’re all under the additional stressors of trying to live a different life under the current circumstances but also: b) people are emboldened by not having to see the pain they cause.

This type of bullying is not unprecedented, of course. Our un-President modeled it on a daily basis until he was dimmed by Twitter (a third reason why this type of behavior may seem acceptable), but people do this ALL THE TIME on social media, on blog comments, on web chats. People can be such vicious trolls when hidden in the shadows of cyberspace. You all have experienced it — any person who puts a modicum of themselves on the Internet has experienced it. It can feel pretty shitty, and in some cases, has driven teenagers to suicide.

So let me say this. There are a lot of ways the pandemic made us better people- we spend time with our families, cook homemade meals, and saved a bunch of money. But by being physically separated and only connecting virtually, we are at risk of losing our humanity.

The next time you’re about to saying something awful to someone on Zoom, pause and ask yourself — would you use the same exact words if that person were sitting at a table in front of you?

If the answer is yes, then by all means go ahead. Otherwise, be kind. We’ve all already lost so much these past few months to lose the threads of common decency that hold this society together.

Here’s a poem about feeling All Zoomed Out.

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