One Thing I Never Expected I Would Learn From My Relationship!

A very personal incident of my life that changed my relationship and my life forever

“Shut your bloody mouth Dane” I shouted in anger!

“You do nothing for us, all you do is for yourself, your work, your life, and all that matters to you is only YOU!” I was blind with rage.

My boyfriend told feebly, “Anne, just calm down, please… listen to me”. But, I was adamant to not listen to anyone. Even I didn’t know that I was capable of such rude behavior.

“Anne, you seriously need to practice yoga or you are never going to be successful in life” was what he told me helplessly, like a deer in headlights. This statement triggered me real bad and real fast and at this point, I lost the little sense I had left in me.

I burst out in absolute rage, “How dare you say this to me? Who are you to tell me what to do? Just go and look at yourself in the mirror, you imbecile loser.”

“Anne, just listen to me first, that is not what I meant, please don’t take me wrong!” I said this to a boy who loved me more than anyone could.

He pleaded me but I was just being a complete sadist.

This was not the first time I was behaving like a mad bull. My behavior towards him had not changed over the months, I took his love for granted.

Man is known to have burned down cities in anger and revenge, but regret — is an emotion more powerful and burning than revenge or anger.

That night I remember shouting at the top of my voice, ranting and hurling abuses at my boyfriend. I never imagined that I could ever use so many cuss words in a single go at an unsuspecting human!

“Anne! please talk softly, we are trying to sleep” said my dorm roommates as my fight with him intensified over the phone. I hurled outside my room and took a seat on the dorm staircase.

“If you don’t hurt yourself, Dane! I will have to hurt myself for loving you,” I howled.

“Anne, stop I cannot see you hurt, I am ready to do whatever you want me to do with myself,” he told.

“Chop your hair off!” I told him almost immediately.

“Whenever you see your bald head you will remember how much shame you have brought onto me,” I told him shamelessly

He broke down, “what did I do that you treat me so bad?”

“I was always there for you my love, what wrong have I done that you are punishing me this way?” he humbly asked.

“It’s either you or me, you cut your hair or I do something with myself” I ruthlessly demanded

And he without any question, silently run a razor on his head and shaved it bald and sent me his photo with no hair on his head

“Now you understand how I felt all this while?” I asked him in a mocking tone.

“Just leave me alone, you’ve had it enough now. Recall everything you said and see what kind of a lady you have been to me” he said quietly but firmly and hanged up… he left!

For a moment I was surprised- “Am I that bad that he hanged up on me?”

This whole episode started because Dane was late by 15min to call me as he was attending a meeting and could not use his phone. But that made absolutely no meaning to me because I never cared for his commitments, I never tried to understand the nature of his rigorous work.

I often resorted to destroying and tearing down all the little cute gifts and sweet handmade cards he gifted me whenever I was angry at him, and he always forgave and never changed his behavior towards me, not once.

I also began flirting with other boys behind my boyfriend, just to take out my unjustified anger against him.

I realized after some time that what I had done was completely unacceptable, my pride and ego had grown so much over my values and my love for him was like an agreement- “had to be perfect”. I was being a moron in our relationship

I was very unpleasant in my relationship, I was very self-centered and never tried to know how much he was doing for us. He just became my punching-bag- whenever I was upset, I just picked up my phone and picked up a fight with him.

He loved me so much that he forgave me, every single time!

After recalling all these incidents, all the time we spent together, and all the torture I had put him through. I couldn’t believe what I had done to myself. With him gone — my life was no more the same, I was living but with regret, grief, and remorse.

It is then I realized the importance of being understanding, being pleasant, and being cheerful in a relationship. I was so ashamed.

“Why did I, and how could I?” these thoughts were constantly running through my head. I was buried in guilt and just wished the earth to crack open and swallow me up!

Until now, I considered him my property and I never truly understood what relationship meant! Only love can create the fire but to keep that fire alive, we need a lot more things like passion, understanding nature, patience, and respect for each other.

People say you need to put in effort into your relationship but for me, everything was effortless with him.

In the last attempt to save my love, I called him up and apologized and said how sorry I was to behave so rudely, I also told that I would never do that again.

“Please Dane, forgive me, I love you so much, I realized and if there is any chance please forgive me,” I was weeping.

He said, “shhh, all I wanted you to do was to understand your mistake. It’s okay you don’t have to apologize. I love you too!” he told and hugged me! I could feel his warmth through my phone and I wished I could pull him closer and hug him for real.

We had our fair share of our fights and troubles like in every other relationship but in the end, we always sorted it out and never slept angry with each other!

I then knew I found myself a gem, in the form of a man, and the greatest virtue I learned from him, is the virtue of “Patience”.

Long Distance relationship sucks but we made it work! (across countries). Not all long-distance relationships break, some relationships are meant to be cared for and nurtured.

P.S- I loved him then, but I love him a little more than yesterday and a little less than tomorrow.