Summary

The article suggests that taking joy in friends' achievements can enhance one's mood and strengthen friendships, as illustrated by the author's experience with a successful friend named Eva.

Abstract

The author emphasizes the joy of witnessing a friend's success, detailing their own elation upon reading about the achievements of their friend Eva in her newsletter. This experience leads the author to propose the concept of a "Happy For" list, complementing the established practice of gratitude lists. The idea is to note the progress and successes of friends and acquaintances, fostering a sense of appreciation and happiness for others, which in turn can improve personal happiness and deepen friendships. The author argues that actively celebrating others' progress creates a positive feedback loop, encouraging genuine interest in people's lives and reinforcing the value of sharing joy with others.

Opinions

Progress in one's own life is described as a source of happiness, but the author extends this to include happiness from others' progress.
The author expresses a strong sense of pride and joy in Eva's professional accomplishments, suggesting that this vicarious happiness is as valid and powerful as personal achievements.
The article posits that the act of creating a "Happy For" list can rewire the brain to focus on appreciation and gratitude for others' successes.
It is suggested that telling people how happy you are for them can amplify the positive impact of this practice, potentially brightening their day as well.
The author believes that this exercise of acknowledging and celebrating others' progress can lead to a virtuous cycle of happiness and more meaningful relationships.

One Simple Tip for Fabulous Friendships (And Also a Better Mood)

Who have you been happy for recently?

My dudes.

Have you ever seen a friend doing well and you take a moment to just bask in the glow of being so damn happy about it?

I did that this morning.

It totally rocks.

14/10, would recommend.

Progress Is Awesome, And Not Just For You

Progressing in your life is just the best feeling. You’re getting stuff done, you’re moving forward, you’re achieving your dreams — in fact, as someone very wise (whose name I can’t look up because I’m typing on an airplane and I’ll be damned if I pay for in-flight wifi) said, “happiness is the progression toward a worthy goal.”

Progress, my friends, is happiness.

And the very very awesome thing I learned this morning is this: it doesn’t have to be only your progress that makes you happy.

Story time.

I have a friend named Eva who I met doing business things when I had my first content company. Eva was further along than I was, business-wise, but we were both women in our 20s doing running our own businesses, and we bonded over that.

She is very, very awesome.

Over time, I got sick and had to shut down my company. I disappeared from the world for a few years, and Eva and I lost touch. Recently, I reached out to her to say hey. And I am so damn glad I did.

Eva continues to be an excellent human, which is a very good reason to get in touch with someone. But more than that? She is out there freaking crushing it.

Her business is now in thought leadership for women business leaders, and she’s working with some freaking amazing people. I signed up for her newsletter, and it arrived this morning.

I read her newsletter, and I almost. freaking. exploded with happiness and pride. She’s smart, she’s articulate, she knows what she’s doing and how to do it, and she has done just such a damn good job. She’s a serious professional. She’s doing the thing.

Reading Eva’s newsletter made my entire day. So, I thought of something fun.

Add A “Happy For” List

Are you familiar with gratitude lists? Every day you write down three, or five, or ten new things you’re grateful for, either when you just wake up or just before bed. It’s one of the happiness habits recommended by happiness expert Shawn Achor in “The Happiness Advantage” (excellent book, highly recommend). It helps rewire your brain toward gratitude and appreciation, which is a Very Good Thing.

And after I read Eva’s newsletter and very nearly exploded into glitter and unicorns and sprinkles of pure joy, I went hmm…what if I expanded on the list concept? What if, in addition to developing a Gratitude List, I added a Happy For list?

Because if take a second and pay attention, you’ll notice people progressing all around you. In their lives, in careers, in this that and the other. A very dear friend of mine lived the #bachelorlife respectably into his thirties. He’s now living with a tiny princess-person of a woman and they’re super happy together. He’s successfully settled down, and I’m so damn happy for him. Progress.

Developing a Happy-For list will do more than just make you happy, though. You’ll start being on the lookout for things to add to your list, so you’ll be more interested in people. You’ll genuinely ask about how your friends are doing, about their wins, their triumphs, no matter how big or small.

And the more you appreciate how happy you are for them, the more you’ll appreciate them.

It becomes a virtuous cycle of growing your own personal happiness and developing and deepening your friendships. It works even better if you tell the person how happy you are for them — for example, I’m definitely sending this article to Eva. I’m so happy she’s crushing it, and I want her to know that. Hopefully it will make her smile, too.

Can you, at this exact second, think of one person you’re happy for? Go ahead, cogitate. Think about how happy their progress has made them, how far they’ve come, how hard they’ve worked to get there. Then check in with yourself. Did your mood just get a little bit brighter?

I thought so 😊.

Happy-For lists, my loves. There’s literally no downside.

All the cool kids are doing it.

(Us. We’re the cool kids. Hell yeah, we made it.)

Fin.