One Simple Scientific Secret to Make People Like You More

Use the peak-end rule to your benefit.

Every human being in this world wants to be liked. Being liked by others is a uniquely satisfying experience. It feels nice. It makes you feel happy and motivated.

When people like you, you feel so confident that everything seems to be achievable. On the other hand — if people do not like you, then you feel sad. Your confidence level goes down.

In such situations, you might be asking yourself — What am I doing wrong? How do I get people to like me?

If you want to be liked by the people, I have a science-based secret for you. I am going to help you with how to use the peak-end rule in your day to day interactions to make people like you more.

How to Make People Like You More

The peak-end rule states that — irrespective of the duration of experience — people form their opinion based on the peak moment and the end of the interaction.

An important point to note here is — how you end the experience makes the difference.

Think about the movies you have seen.

When the movie ends, you leave the theatre with the feeling based on how the movie ended. If the film ends on a happy note, you leave the theatre with an upbeat mood. If the film ends with a rather somber note, you leave the theatre with a heavy heart.

That is what the peak-end rule suggests — ending matters.

People don’t remember the complete experience. They form opinions about their interaction based on snapshots of memory about the incident. The most dominating snapshot among all is created by the feeling experienced towards the end.

Now that you know, people form their experience based on how the whole process ends — let’s see how you can use it to your advantage.

During formal interactions, ask people if you can help them in anything just before closing the discussions.

Enquire about their experience.

No matter how the meeting transpired, in the end, if you sincerely ask people for their feedback — they will see you as an open-minded person who is ready to learn and improve.

That last impression will get embedded in their memory. It will help soothe out any friction created during the meeting.

The same rule applies to job interviews. Your interview can be for a position in a new place or an opening within your own company.

No matter how the interview goes — in the end, always thank the interviewer for their time.

Showing your gratitude will help you stand out among the other possible candidates. People will certainly remember you for your positive attitude.

If there is any future eligible position that matches your profile — you will be among the first few who will get notified.

You can successfully apply the peak-end rule during interactions with your friends and family.

You are more open with your friends and family than your professional acquaintances. There is so much emotion involved while talking to people who are close to you. If ever you get into arguments with the closed ones, it would be best to end the conversations on a positive note.

You don’t want to ruin your relations with your friends and family (well, at least not with everyone :)).

When you end the discussions nicely, that makes your closed ones see you as a kind-hearted person. They automatically feel compelled to like you more.

If you are a writer and you are not feeling the love from the editors of certain publications — don’t get frustrated. They are just doing their job.

It will help if you are thankful when an editor provides a review comment for not selecting your article. Learn from their notes. Appreciate the editor for taking the time to give you feedback.

End the feedback loop on a positive note. Let the editor know that you will use the provided input to improve your writing skills and submit a better article next time.

This positive attitude on the closing note is undoubtedly going to impress the editors. If anything, they will not outright reject your next article.

Why close your prospect of getting published when you can keep your chances open by just ending the conversation on a positive note!

All’s Well That Ends Well

A minor improvement at the end of the event radically shifts people’s opinion about the whole process.

Now you know how you can use this technique to make others like you more.

When people like you, you feel validated. You feel really confident. Your motivation level shoots up unusually high.

When people like you, you feel validated. You feel really confident. Your motivation level shoots up unusually high. I hope you are convinced with the approach and are going to utilize this newfound secret in all aspects of your life.

However — if you still have doubt and you are the kind of person who needs to know the science behind everything that you do — then let me tell you more about the peak-end rule.

More About Peak-End Rule

The peak-end rule is a psychological heuristic in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at its peak (i.e., its most intense point) and at its end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. — Wikipedia

Let me elaborate on it a bit further with a supporting study.

Daniel Kahneman, Barbara Fredrickson, Charles Schreiber, and Donald Redelmeier conducted a study in 1993 to find out how different intensity of pain at different phases of the interaction influences the overall experience.

The study participants had to keep their hands inside cold water for two different periods.

• In the first stage, participants were asked to keep one hand inside the cold water for 60 seconds at a temperature of 14 °C (57.2 °F).
• In the second stage, participants were asked to keep the other hand inside the cold water for 60 seconds at a temperature of 14 °C (57.2 °F), and then for an extra 30 seconds at a temperature of 15 °C (59 °F).
• In the third stage, participants got the offer to choose which of the two previous stages they will prefer to repeat.

You must be thinking — it is only sensible to choose the first stage of the experiment. Water at 15 °C is still quite cold. Why stick your hand in cold water for 30 seconds more!

Contrary to logical reasoning, participants were more willing to repeat the second stage of the experiment.

The study suggested that people, in general, perceive the severity of discomfort based on the peak of distress and the end of the phase.

In the above study, participants were more inclined to go for an extended period in cold water — due to the relatively better experience in the last 30 seconds of the second stage.

Wrap Up

Now you know the science-based secret to make people like you more.

Did the secret blow your mind away! I am pretty sure you already knew it. :)

You just needed a little reminder and a bit of science to make it more convincing. Go ahead and use your newfound scientific knowledge to make people like you more. While you are at it — be nice to everyone and win their hearts.

Thanks for reading the article.