One Simple Act in Five Easy Steps to Increase Happiness Every Day

Keeping it real when it comes to life is essential

This morning I took one look at my daughter and knew she was exhausted.

She made a significant attempt to prepare her school bag the night before and only had one thing to add to it.

I was pretty proud of her.

Mornings are hard for most people — especially a lot of sleep-deprived teenagers.

My daughter stresses way too much — definitely inherited from my side.

Teenagers haven’t had enough experience to understand the complexities of life just yet.

So all we can do is offer advice and hope something sticks.

I asked her — “How are you feeling this morning?”

Sarcastically she screamed, “Well mum, can’t you see — just wonderful at 6 am!”

I had to laugh as I’ve been up since about three something to get in my gym workout.

That got me thinking about how common it is for most of us to start our day dreading to face the hours ahead.

I think that’s quite a disempowering way to start a new day.

But, with that mental attitude, you most certainly will have a challenging time ahead of you.

You might end up seeing all the things you dislike more than anything pleasant which may have occurred.

I’m pretty grateful for being alive in the game of life.

There are many things I want to change, and that comes with effort struggle, which equals growth and achievement of your goals.

After going through some mightly adversities, I know now that we need those to grow and develop a new level of consciousness.

Yesterday at 7.30 am, an older woman came to my home poured her heart out to me.

I didn’t know her but offered my support to listen in on the pain she was going through.

Her husband has dementia, and yesterday she signed the paperwork to admit him into care. The guilt she felt was extraordinary.

From age 17, she had loved him — and they were inseparable ever since that moment.

She spoke of their endless holidays together and growing up in a family of 3 boys. She was devastated and feeling guilty. How could she do this to him after all they had been through?

I knew what she was going through.

As a carer for my mum, I know how difficult it is to do the basics necessities for someone that is either non-responsive or doesn’t have the strength to move.

It becomes a struggle.

How can one woman look after a man who can barely move and doesn’t remember his kids — or wife for that matter?

It’s a very hard yet necessary choice.

The only thing I could say to her was this — “You have so many wonderful and glorious years of memories to find for and remember him by — and that’s something dementia and death cannot take away from you.”

She seemed a lot calmer after I said this.

Perhaps we all need a little reminding to practice gratitude in times of utter despair.

Life hands us a challenging situation that can be very painful.

We might have to make tough decisions based on logic instead of our own hearts song.

It’s hard — I know it is, although sometimes we will have to decide.

All we have is one thing left — and that’s gratitude.

Gratitude — that’s the one thing you can extract when times get tough.

It certainly saw me through the many moments of anguish during my mum’s illness.

I had to stick to my plan because it would have all become too much for me.

I had a dying mum to look after and a daughter to support.

Here’s what I had to do every single day (and still do, mind you.)

One: Write down three good things that happened today

It can be anything, such as a great cup of coffee, a smile from strangers, your dog wagging tail when they see you.

Two: Pick an instance of gratitude that sparks a beautiful memory from the past

Bask in the happiness of that moment.

It helps to have photos around you that spark some memory during a holiday or from your youth.

Those moments captured with a camera tell a thousand words.

Three: Choose something you did

We find it easy to spot something externally, but what about you? For example, did you manage to drink more water today?

Maybe you got up to go to the gym or was patient with someone hard to deal with.

These aspects help make your life more pleasant and eliminate necessary stress and anger.

That’s a win in my book.

Four: You must do this daily to build up a habit

As with anything you wish to get results from, showing gratitude every day is essential.

The more you do it, the more extraordinary your life will become.

You can spot those little things now that make a big difference to the quality of your mental and physical health.

Five: When you are experiencing something painful — find something beautiful amongst the darkness

I know this is hard, but I did this through my mum’s illness.

I found something, anything, that could bring me some joy.

I had to because my mental health would have deteriorated if I dwelled in my sadness.

It was always the sound of her voice, combing her hair, feeding her food or being able to sit with her that made my life a joy.

So I squeezed anything I could to override the hear-break.

I will admit that it was somewhat complicated because I had not conditioned my mind to think of something I was grateful for.

But, once you get started, it’s hard to stop. I began noticing everything — however small it seemed to be.

This helped me feel good about living despite seeing someone I love slowly dying.

Conditioning your mind is the first step towards happiness for life.

We can’t control death but we have total control of what we think about.

It’s all your doing, and we can all find a beautiful instance that makes us smile — only if we look hard and long enough.

How often do your practice gratitude?

If you would like to read more articles like this or start writing your own, please sign up via my link. I’d love to see you on the other side.

Sign up here for your medium subscription.

I get a portion from your monthly fee at no extra cost to you, and it will go a long way in supporting me as a writer.

If you would like to express gratitude with coffee, send the love via this link.