Summary

The text reflects on a personal transformation from a time when the author would procrastinate and feel unwelcome at home, to a present where they find joy and acceptance in their living space.

Abstract

The narrative begins with the author describing a former routine of delaying departure from work, engaging in small talk while off the clock, and then hastily running home. The author paints a picture of a solitary run through a maze-like neighborhood, mirroring the mental loops of their own thoughts. Home was once a place devoid of warmth, where the author's presence went unacknowledged, leading to a preference for staying outdoors. However, the story takes a turn as the author reveals a shift in their life. Now, the author's residence has become a true home, a welcoming place at the end of the day. Despite the unchanged nature of the author's tendency to be reflective, the overall mood has improved, with laughter replacing tears. The city has replaced the cul-de-sacs, and the author now enjoys the comfort of home, symbolized by the presence of pets and a peaceful atmosphere. The transformation is such that even the worst days are better than the worst nights of the past, and the choice to be outside is now a pleasant option rather than an escape.

Opinions

The author used to feel unwelcome and unacknowledged at home, leading to a preference for staying outside.
There is a sense of nostalgia for the past, despite its negative connotations, as evidenced by the detailed recollection of the author's previous routine.
The author's current living situation is described positively, indicating a significant improvement in their quality of life.
The transformation from past to present is attributed to a change in the author's environment, from cul-de-sacs to the city, and a shift in the atmosphere at home.
The author suggests that they have an internal dialogue that continues regardless of external changes, but it now occurs in a more positive context.
The author values their job and does not romanticize the past, emphasizing that the present is genuinely better.
The presence of cats in the author's current home life is symbolic of the warmth and companionship that now characterizes their living space.

One of Those Days

Used to wait until the absolute last,

Last minute to leave the job and head home,

Standing at the counter off the clock but still running my mouth

Running my mouth, counting down the minutes until

My legs had to be running instead. Then running outside,

Little circles on little circles,

Tracing out the nested cul-de-sacs in my mind

As well as with my feet.

Forced myself to come inside

Knew he wouldn’t care that I was even home for the night,

Couldn’t even muster a “hi” or

Ask me how my day had gone, so I’d drag my feet,

Still running my mouth in my mind

That was back in the days when I used to run outside

Back when I was never home before I

Was sure that the clock on the wall said it was night

I could wait to open that door, breathe in, breathe out, and lose my mind

Back when every single night turned into one of those days

I’d rather be outside

I love my job, don’t just say so to sound good, but now,

The place I live at is a home. I’m welcome here at the end of the day,

No matter how close or far away I roam,

And the more things change, the more they stay the same,

In truth, I’m still running my mouth; but I laugh more than I cry.

I’m in the city, far from cul-de-sacs, but right in the

Heart of where I like to be. I breathe in when I come inside, and it

Smells like home and my cats say hi.

Nobody’s mad.

No one is yelling. Even the worst days now are

Better than my worst nights used to be. Now, every night

Is one of those days where it’s up to me if I want to be outside.