One Lesson I Learned From Self-Help Books

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Abstract

and disappointments. And if someone is struggling with a part of himself to become better or to make his dreams come true, another person’s experience hardly becomes an inspiration. My fears and fights might seem nothing compared to other people’s fights, but they are the center of my universe.3-The list of things they advise to do on a regular basis tends to demotivate people at first since it is long, tiring and it sounds like another obstacle, while we are striving to make one little effort to change. Here are some examples: exercise, journaling, meditation and breathing, personal care, time for reading, family, and friends, and most of all make a plan and stick to it. We all know what they are, but how many of us practice them on a regular basis? For example, there are days when I find it hard to keep my journal, and I don’t have a very complicated life.Moreover, a self-help book, like any other personal relationship, is based on some chemical reaction: you need to like the author, his story, his face, or maybe you are considering the price of the book. Or more often you buy or don’t buy a book because of the title or the color of the cover. You might find any obstacle as a valid reason not to change, including the timing: you must be so sick of yourself and of your current situation, that you can finally make an effort.What lesson did I learn after all these years, and I put into practice on a daily basis?Take little steps.Acting reduces anxiety, and it is not so hard as you imagi

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ne. If there is something you would like to do, like writing an article, losing weight, change what you consider to be a bad habit, you can start with a little goal, not with the most important in your life. Write the goal, with some details.An example: by the end of May you would like to read a self-help book. Divide the goal into small parts, one for each day, for example reading 10 pages a day. There are days in which you will not follow, accept it and try not to have negative thoughts about yourself. If you can, let all negative emotions flow, so they can pass. How can you get rid of those feelings? Again, with some action, like going for a walk or cooking.The more you practice the little daily steps, the more it will become normal and part of your daily routine. Make it a ritual, a habit that you practice every day at the same time, and you will be satisfied with yourself. And when May 31st comes, around that date you will have gone a long way. You might have realized that the goal was small but useless, or not important for you. You learned something about yourself, and you found out that you can change things in your life: you are a person who commits to a plan and who may not be gifted with a special talent, yet your effort will make you feel a little better, more satisfied about yourself.And maybe you will stop reading self-help books and start reading another kind of story; there are so many books that make us feel better without a big effort from our side. And this is exactly what I did!</article></body>

It’s easier than I expected

Why are you reading self-help books?

Personally, I have always tried to become a better version of myself and I kept looking for it in self-help books. I guess I was insecure, and I have been relying too much on other people’s advice to find my way to a happier life. This is something I still do, but I am working on it and I know how difficult it is to find one’s center.

After reading three to four manuals a year for almost a decade, from the most famous to the old ones I found in my village library, and still feeling insecure, I found out the following similar characteristics that belong to all of them:

1-A self-help book is strongly influenced by the country where the author lives. Some experiences that you can have easy and for free in the USA, are not available in other countries, for example in Italy, where I live.

2-All the great events mentioned in the books, for example, the story of a famous tennis player who overcame his fears to win a competition, is not always useful since they are very personal, and too far from our daily ordinary life and disappointments. And if someone is struggling with a part of himself to become better or to make his dreams come true, another person’s experience hardly becomes an inspiration. My fears and fights might seem nothing compared to other people’s fights, but they are the center of my universe.

3-The list of things they advise to do on a regular basis tends to demotivate people at first since it is long, tiring and it sounds like another obstacle, while we are striving to make one little effort to change. Here are some examples: exercise, journaling, meditation and breathing, personal care, time for reading, family, and friends, and most of all make a plan and stick to it. We all know what they are, but how many of us practice them on a regular basis? For example, there are days when I find it hard to keep my journal, and I don’t have a very complicated life.

Moreover, a self-help book, like any other personal relationship, is based on some chemical reaction: you need to like the author, his story, his face, or maybe you are considering the price of the book. Or more often you buy or don’t buy a book because of the title or the color of the cover. You might find any obstacle as a valid reason not to change, including the timing: you must be so sick of yourself and of your current situation, that you can finally make an effort.

What lesson did I learn after all these years, and I put into practice on a daily basis?

Take little steps.

Acting reduces anxiety, and it is not so hard as you imagine. If there is something you would like to do, like writing an article, losing weight, change what you consider to be a bad habit, you can start with a little goal, not with the most important in your life. Write the goal, with some details.

An example: by the end of May you would like to read a self-help book. Divide the goal into small parts, one for each day, for example reading 10 pages a day. There are days in which you will not follow, accept it and try not to have negative thoughts about yourself. If you can, let all negative emotions flow, so they can pass. How can you get rid of those feelings? Again, with some action, like going for a walk or cooking.

The more you practice the little daily steps, the more it will become normal and part of your daily routine. Make it a ritual, a habit that you practice every day at the same time, and you will be satisfied with yourself. And when May 31st comes, around that date you will have gone a long way. You might have realized that the goal was small but useless, or not important for you. You learned something about yourself, and you found out that you can change things in your life: you are a person who commits to a plan and who may not be gifted with a special talent, yet your effort will make you feel a little better, more satisfied about yourself.

And maybe you will stop reading self-help books and start reading another kind of story; there are so many books that make us feel better without a big effort from our side. And this is exactly what I did!