Summary

The author reflects on a one-word piece of advice from his late brother about old age: "confusion," and shares insights on navigating retirement with a lighter approach to the disorientation of days and dates.

Abstract

The article titled "One Disturbing Word My Older Brother Gave for My Future Older Self" discusses the author's visit with his older brother, Joe, at a retirement community. During this visit, Joe, who was 85 at the time, imparted a single word to describe what the author, now 78, could expect at the age of 84: "confusion." The author, having retired eight years prior, begins to understand this concept as he experiences difficulties remembering the day of the week or the month. He suggests that in retirement, the specific day or date becomes less important, while recognizing the season and having a "Marker Day" can provide a sense of stability. The author humorously acknowledges the confusion that comes with aging and offers three key points to help others cope with the uncertainties of retirement: embrace the confusion, focus on seasons rather than dates, and establish a "Marker Day" to maintain some structure in the week.

Opinions

The author views confusion as an inevitable part of the aging process that should be accepted with humor and grace.
He believes that the importance of days and dates diminishes in retirement, advocating for a simpler approach to life based on the four seasons.
The concept of a "Marker Day" is introduced as a practical tool for maintaining orientation within the week, with the author emphasizing its role in providing stability for retirees.
The author values the wisdom gained from personal experiences and those of his late brother, using these insights to offer advice to others facing similar challenges in retirement.
He acknowledges the need for help and community in dealing with confusion, inviting readers to share their own strategies for coping with the disorientation that can come with aging.

One Disturbing Word My Older Brother Gave for My Future Older Self

There is one word tying old age and retirement together. What’s the word?

The word is confusion.

I’m seven years younger than my brother, Joe.

I spent time with him at his Cape Cod retirement community. Furthermore, I didn’t realize this would be my last time before his death. Joe was the last of my four brothers to pass through the vale of death. He was 85.

It was a seven-hour drive for my daughter and me to arrive at his place. I had such an enjoyable three days with him. I don’t remember all we talked about. But, I do remember this one question. His reply keeps ringing in my ears these two years since my visit.

Joe, I have a question for you. What do I have to look forward to when I’m 84?

Joe replied with a one-word answer, “Confusion.”

I retired eight years ago. Yep, I’m 78. I’m beginning to plumb the depths of Joe’s confusion.

Confusion tightens its grip

Is this Wednesday? No, it’s Tuesday. So, it’s the last day of the month, right? No, tomorrow is the last day of this month. Is this July? No, it’s August. I’m confused. Thanks, Joe, for the warning.

You’re not going to remember what day it is. Besides, never mind the date either. We’re retired. Let’s make life simple.

All you have to know, it’s summer, so turn on the AC. Oops, It’s winter; is the furnace still working? So, you got it. All you need to know are the four seasons, not the date nor day. Knowing this makes life much easier.

So, you’re stuck on wanting to know what day it is? My wife and I have three days down pat. We know Saturday because it comes before church on Sunday. Of course, Monday is the day after our church day. There, we at the least know where these three days belong in the week. I call Sunday our “Marker Day.”

You will need a marker day to survive retirement. Get one. They’re free. Put them in your hip pocket. You will have at the very least three days of stability in your week.

Now you know these three irrefutable truths about aging in retirement.

Confusion is part of it. Accept it and have some fun with your confusion.
Days and dates don’t matter too much. But seasons do.
Set a “Marker Day” for your sanity. At least you’ll know where three days fit in your week.

I’m so glad I helped some of you get past the confusion of old age.

Now, one thing, did I write this before somewhere? Not sure — I’m confused. Better take a nap now to let this post marinate before I hit publish.

How are you dealing with confusion? I’d like to know, since I need all the help I can get.

3 Simple Yet Thoughtful Questions Building Your Confidence in Retirement

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Read more of the essential life lessons from an experienced octogenarian in Armstrong’s Timeless Views here. It’s Free.

Thank you,

Richard