One Behavior To Take To Practice Compassion With Your Coworkers

Summary

The author reflects on the importance of practicing compassion with coworkers, acknowledging the negative impact of the pandemic on interpersonal relationships at work.

Abstract

The article discusses the author's realization about the need for compassion in the workplace, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic. Initially, the author felt indifferent towards a coworker, Andrea, who seemed to lack politeness and interest in personal interaction. However, upon recognizing the broader effects of stress and anxiety on workplace dynamics, the author decided to make a conscious effort to rekindle empathy and improve communication. The piece emphasizes the loss of personal connections due to increased focus on work and survival mode, and advocates for a return to more meaningful interactions to rebuild a supportive work environment.

Opinions

The author initially felt that Andrea's behavior was impolite and indicative of a lack of personal interest, leading to mutual dislike.
The pandemic has exacerbated workplace tension and diminished empathy, causing colleagues to become more distant and less communicative about non-work-related topics.
The author admits to avoiding conversations with Andrea and feeling relieved by the lack of interaction, suggesting a defensive response to perceived indifference.
There is a recognition that everyone is coping with the crisis differently, and that this should be acknowledged with increased compassion and empathy.
The author believes that small changes in daily interactions, such as asking about a colleague's well-being, can lead to a more positive work environment.
The article suggests that re-establishing personal connections and showing interest in coworkers' lives is crucial for overcoming the negative effects of the pandemic on workplace relationships.

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“Hi Andrea, how are you?”

“…” “Where is the boss?”

I have just had this conversation with my colleague Andrea. It’s the same kind of talk we have every morning. He doesn’t say hello, he doesn’t ask anything about me because he doesn’t care, he is thinking about work.

This behavior has been going on for a year now. At first I was kind to him, then I started thinking he is not really polite or nice, or maybe he just doesn’t like me, which is reciprocated by now.

I have recently started avoiding any conversation with Andrea. When he arrives, I look at him and he asks his direct question. I reply, end of conversation. This change in my attitude made me feel better because it takes less energy out of me, and I usually stop thinking about him as soon as he leaves my office, which happens after I answer his question.

Yet, after going back to work at the office, I have realized that the pandemic upset all of our lives, to the point of creating new moments of tension with our coworkers. Our levels of anxiety and stress have increased, and we all feel worse than before. In these painful situations we stop feeling empathy and we lose compassion. We don’t listen or think about the person who is talking to us, we just focus on who is right, and who is wrong. We build walls around ourselves.

I have noticed that this crisis affected even my relationship with my dearest colleagues: we are no longer the nice persons we used to be, including me. Under pressure, we stopped communicating well, and in some cases, we do not share anything at all. We stopped talking about family, holidays or books. We just talk about work, and we lost every personal contact. It’s like saving time and energy: it’s our survival mode. We distance ourselves from other people and from their suffering, because we have to face our own problems.

I don’t like it. I miss my colleagues and the pleasant conversations we had at lunch, or at the coffee machine. I think that we could make an effort to create a positive shift and improve our daily exchanges, starting with the short sentences we use to begin a conversation. We need to open up more than under normal circumstances, because we have different coping mechanisms to this crisis. We all need compassion and empathy to feel stronger again. We need to demolish the walls we have built during the pandemic.

Therefore I decided to stop comparing our behaviors, and avoid judging other people, because I don’t know anything about their life and suffering. I decided I will give it a try, and make the effort to be nice again.

Tomorrow I will start by asking my colleague “How are you, Andrea?”