Summary

A Nigerian mother describes a traditional practice of using hot water to alter the appearance of a newborn daughter's vagina, which she finds shocking and abhorrent.

Abstract

The author, a Nigerian mother, recounts the cultural practice in her home country where hot water is applied to a newborn girl's vagina to 'straighten' it, supposedly to make it 'beautiful' and prepare her for future marriage suitors. She expresses her disbelief and horror upon learning about this practice, which is considered common in some regions. Despite consulting with her doctor and confirming the practice's prevalence, she is relieved that her mother chose not to subject her to it. The author emphasizes the pain and trauma inflicted on infant girls through this practice and questions the societal norms that justify it, particularly the expectation of girls to be marriageable.

Opinions

The author finds the practice of using hot water on a newborn's vagina to be a form of torture and is appalled that it is done in the name of beauty and marriageability.
She is critical of the cultural expectations placed on girls from a very young age, highlighting the absurdity of comparing vaginas and the notion of a 'beautiful' vagina.
The author is disturbed by the idea that mothers would inflict such pain on their daughters and questions how this practice continues to be accepted and perpetuated.
She is thankful that her mother did not follow this practice and acknowledges the importance of questioning and rejecting harmful traditional practices.
The author uses sarcasm to underscore the ridiculousness of the practice, as seen in the figure captions like "Wanna puke?" and "Imma let you finish but spread open and let me be sure you aint outstraightening me in there!"
She calls for awareness and action against such abusive behaviors, encouraging readers to support her work and stay informed about these issues.

One Acceptable Newborn Torture Practice In My Home Country.

It involves hot water.

You might as well know it now, I am Nigerian. I am also a mother. What I am about to tell you is going to have you screaming all through today.

When I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, as is with the custom in well meaning African communities- everyone gives you their opinion. Don’t bother asking or not asking, you will hear it. When your child is a girl, my oh my, you will realize that even before your daughter can smile, she already is married off. I mean it because all the ‘well meaning’ advices for baby girls are in line with preparation for being a good girl so she will have suitors and be married off as soon as possible.

It was still shocking when I was told:

Use hot water- very hot water, every morning, to press continually, the vagina of my days old daughter until her vagina is ‘straightened’ out.

So I asked the very helpful aunty who called me to tell me to start this on the second day of my daughter’s arrival to earth, “what does this straightened vagina do?”

Answer: “It makes her vagina beautiful. See, she will be crying but harden your mind. Do it beginning tomorrow morning during her bath”

You say what now?

First, it was news to me that there was apparently another area some other girls could possibly be beating me in- a VAGINA of all parts!

There were beautiful vaginas and ugly vaginas.

How does one make this comparison? Against who and who and who are we having this contest?

Imma let you finish but spread open and let me be sure you aint outstraightening me in there!

READ: I Normalized These 4 Abusive Behaviours.

To be sure I was not losing my mind, I spoke with my doctor about this. Apparently, it is a “common practice”. Some regions in my country, use very hot water pressed upon their newborn daughter’s vagina- to widen their vagina. My region used very hot water to straighten the vagina.

This would not be funny even if it was an outdated practice. To know that right now, are newborn baby girls in my country tortured every morning with hot water by their own mothers, is abhorrent.

I asked my mother if she did this, she said no. She was told to but she had the good sense not to. Yah, mom!

I mean, how does a mother spread open the delicate body of her daughter and daily torture her with hot water despite her quiet painful tears? How in the world is this happening? We all know the answer- marriage. Where the sex isn’t even worth it.

Thank you for reading.

My name is Adaobi Okwy. Please turn on Email Notification for my next post. Also, Buy me coffee?