Doubt Is Only Real If We Believe It To Be

Once Upon A Time In America, I Didn’t Believe In Myself

My Contribution To Today’s Prompt

Even though I had accomplished so much in life, seeing I didn’t think highly of the said accomplishments, they didn’t have great influence over me. I’m referring to things such as walking, talking, reading, writing, etc. Why would I regard these achievements as something phenomenal when I was under the impression I was supposed to accomplish them. See, as with the majority of us, I deemed the struggle to do something seemingly natural, different from the struggle to do something seemingly unnatural.

In 1978, learning how to play baseball for my thirteen-year-old self seemed like it would never go beyond a dream, that is until I began to go through the process. Before I knew it what was once deemed impossible, was possible. Me trying and eventually succeeding with every attempt began to erase my doubt, and boosted my confidence. I became so good, I was a complete player, meaning I could literally play every position.

In 1992, I grew tired of the anger issues I acquired at a very young age, and due in large part to having been bullied. Thanks to the said anger I eventually made myself very unappealing, so much so that even those close to me only dealt with me when it was necessary. My mission to change seemed impossible because I’d grown accustomed to acting as I did, even though I now strongly desired to be different, it was easier said than done. But one day I meet a young man who would be partially responsible for helping to change my life forever.

The man in question wasn’t much old than me in age but when it came to wisdom, we were like night and day. He was so profound, I was left in awe and eager to understand all he knew but instead of sharing why he thought as he did, he gave me the source of its birth. The said source came in the form of a book, The Autobiography Of Malcolm X. I was told by the young man that Malcolm X’s life was so inspiring it made him want to emulate him, the young man’s name was Gregory X.

I began to read The Autobiography Of Malcolm X and from the jump, I found myself wanting to do nothing more. After I finished the book in question I was not only on a mission to find out more about the teachings of the Nation of Islam but just as important, about all other sources that would enhance my intellect as well.

In 2008, I was a full-fledged member of the Nation of Islam. My accomplishment was made possible due to my desire to enhance my intellect. From the moment I finished The Autobiography Of Malcolm X, I was reading everything I could get my hands on. I began to think and believe differently. Gone were the days when doubt had a key to the front door of my mind, actually, I had changed the locks. My relationships with family and friends were not only restored, but I became a source of comfort for so many of them. To this day, I’m still on that mission to enhance my intellect, so I seek out different perspectives daily. My writing ability attracts people to me and bonds are established and we help one another to evolve, just as it was designed to be. Our differences are what make us most the same, I know this seems like an oxymoron but under closer examination, it’ll make perfect sense to you.

I now look at things for what they are, and not as how I once thought them to be. I draw on logic and reason. If the reasoning doesn’t make logical sense I question it and if the answers still disrespect logic, I disregard it altogether.

How we think and believe will eventually become our reality. If we think we can’t do something and begin to believe this thought, we most surely won’t accomplish the task. The thought is the start and end of everything, nothing we see now would be possible without first having thought the thought. So, instead of thinking we won’t, why not start thinking we will. Most times are thoughts are so big that they scare us into believing whatever we want, we won’t have. This is just doubt testing our desire, doubts primary objective is to have us quit. If we know something to be true, we can go about understanding how to plan accordingly. Doubt is only a test of our desire, it’s primary objective is to have us quit, so it ensures our plans fail, especially the ones we put all our trust in. So, with knowing all this we’ll understand that when our plan fails we don’t give up on the goal, we just come up with a new plan.

Thank you for taking the time and donating it to reading my words. May all you deserve and desire flow abundantly into your life like a river does into a sea.

Thanks to Diana C. for this week’s prompt: