On Wearing Your Spy Boots To Go Hiking
How Not To Fit In On A Mountain Trail
She was wearing spy boots. Black leather, knee high and pointy in a couple places. They looked stunning. She was ready to hang out with James Bond. The rest of her outfit was right out of a movie too, including the glittering gold belt.
Her companion was taking the world by storm in dress pants and a suit jacket. He was wearing these gorgeous leather shoes, reddish brown and expensive looking. He had dark, short hair. And maybe a hidden weapon?
We ran across Kim Possible and her friend dressed like assassins in very rugged terrain, far from the typical spy setting. It was at Bow Glacier Falls, Banff National Park, Canada. The trail is 8.7 kilometers long, with a total rise of 266 meters. We had to cross a flooded area on the trail, getting our feet wet in about three inches of cold mountain runoff from the melting snow. The trail past that point has several spots that winds through dense trees, with roots, rocks and puddles as obstacles.
It isn’t the hardest trail out there, but it is by no means flat like a sidewalk. It requires running shoes at the minimum, and agility to avoid tripping or falling while making your way through.
This female secret agent looked dashing in her high heels and ready to take on city action in the streets of Berlin. But meanwhile, she was having difficulty with the tree roots and mud. I imagine that they weren’t happy with getting their footwear soaked. Hopefully she made it out of there without twisting an ankle or breaking off a heel.
Afterward, I found myself thinking about them. I just couldn’t drop it, something was off about those two. Why were they out there dressed like that? Were they rich and clueless, silly city folk? Did they arrive in the Ferrari on a lark, and just stop to do some hiking on the way to the Gala?
Or were they actually spies?
Turns Out They Were Spies
I did a little digging in the bad places online and found out the truth. There was a plot to foil, and they were right in the middle of it. I can’t tell you what was really going on, cause, you know. Someone might have to kill you. As it is, I’m now running for my life.
I’m just glad we didn’t get caught in a shootout or explosions, or crashing helicopters. The blades always fly right off and careen into the crowd when a helicopter crashes. That means game over for any bystanders!
Who was she really? Was she a ballerina that was blackmailed into becoming a spy after an “accident” ruins her dancing career? Or was she raised in a cabin in the woods, trained from birth to be a killing machine? We might never find out, but I do know that she was running from some bad dudes with bad attitudes.
And her sidekick? The gentleman spy, dapper yet deadly, packing a pistol under his suit jacket? Was he recruited from the streets of London to join a secret society of the King’s Men? Maybe.
I didn’t recognize their faces from any of the dark web spy profiles I looked at. But, plastic surgery is always an identity changing possibility in spy circles.
My best guess is that there is a hidden installation deep in the mountains, normally only accessible from stealth jet and the like. But these two had some troubles, got hijacked or shot down, or just missed their ride. So, they were forced to hike in on foot.
I can see them sheepishly coming up to the secret base back door, walking like peons. Their boss will facepalm and shake his head. Footwear ruined and clothes ripped, they will be the butt of all the spy jokes for months.
But at least they looked stunning walking through that mud.
