On The First Day of Christmas…

Summary

The article humorously reimagines the traditional "Twelve Days of Christmas" song, detailing a series of increasingly chaotic holiday events as observed by the author's children.

Abstract

In a whimsical take on the classic Christmas carol, Audra J Pitts recounts a mother's holiday chaos from the perspective of her children. Each day introduces a new, humorous mishap, starting with the family's black cat eating the Christmas tree and culminating in a series of domestic calamities such as frozen pizzas, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, and an escaped bearded dragon. The narrative builds up to the twelfth day, where the mother, fueled by coffee, presides over the festive mayhem that includes chirping crickets, chewed-up dog toys, burnt Christmas cookies, Legos scattered about, slow Wi-Fi, cashless Christmas cards, and the persistent black cat. The author captures the essence of the holiday struggle with a lighthearted tone, acknowledging the reality of holiday chaos with a touch of humor and relief.

Opinions

The author finds humor in the common holiday mishaps that many parents can relate to.
There is an underlying sense of affection and joy amidst the holiday chaos, suggesting that these imperfections are part of the season's charm.
The repeated mention of the black cat eating the tree implies a running joke or a lighthearted family anecdote.
The accumulation of incidents reflects the busy and often unpredictable nature of the holiday season for families.
The author likely intends to convey that despite the holiday stress, there is a shared, comical camaraderie among those experiencing similar situations.

And A Black Cat Eating the Tree

By Audra J Pitts

(Sing to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas)

On the first day of Christmas, my children had to see our black cat eating the tree.

On the second day of Christmas, my children had to see two frozen pizzas and our black cat eating the tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my children had to see unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my children had to see spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my children had to see cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my children had to see very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my children had to see the escaped bearded dragon, very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my children had to see Legos everywhere, the escaped bearded dragon, very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my children had to see burnt Christmas cookies, Legos everywhere, the escaped bearded dragon, very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my children had to see ten chewed-up dog toys, burnt Christmas cookies, Legos everywhere, the escaped bearded dragon, very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my children had to see eleven crickets chirping, ten chewed-up dog toys, burnt Christmas cookies, Legos everywhere, the escaped bearded dragon, very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my children had to see mom on lots of coffee, eleven crickets chirping, ten chewed-up dog toys, burnt Christmas cookies, Legos everywhere, the escaped bearded dragon, very slow Wi-Fi, cards without cash, spilled hot cocoa, unwashed plates, two frozen pizzas, and our black cat eating the tree.

Trust Me; The holiday struggle is real! Phew!