We Don’t Need More Improvement Guides on Productivity and Motivation

Series: Leon Rey, the Team Manager - Season 1, Episode 1

Who the hell he thinks he is?

One day my brain will implode if he keeps loading the office with that nonsense.

Our newly appointed Vice President (VP) seems to believe he is morally superior to the rest of us.

He loves all these productivity, motivation, and self-development Gurus so every now and then he comes up with a new workshop, based on the latest trendy tips, to cascade his so called knowledge into us.

Who are they?

You know what type of Gurus I am talking about. The ones who know everything about this:

• Dopamine boosting techniques, meditation guides, productivity hacks, work-life balance tips, healthy-eating habits recommendations, leadership and assertiveness training, commanding respect skills suggestions, living in the moment tricks, and even expecting people to take cold showers.

I could go on and keep building that list, but it would take me forever considering that the list above only covers 1% of their topics.

If YouTube and Medium are flooded with these Gurus, why in the world would I wanted to receive a summary of what worked specifically for my VP?

Does he really think that he is the only one getting spammed by the algorithm with these tips?

I mean, I don’t trust the Gurus, but I know they exist.

These know-it-all geniuses seem to understand everything about life and my VP believes they are right.

Falsehoods

I didn’t know he would actually care if we were implementing this “wisdom” in our lives until he caught me off guard with an enormous sincere but fake smile (yeah, he can combine those two), penetrating eye contact, and a direct question:

How has your sleeping improved after our latest workshop?

Why, are you going to make me come to work earlier due to that? — I replied in my head but not to him.

I was mind-blown, he really thinks he is making a difference.

I thought about it and this should have been my answer: Do you really think you have the time and discipline to implement everything you have learned? How many guides do you read per day, 10, 15? And you also read their books right? It is impossible to integrate all that in one lifetime!

I kept it to myself.

Let’s get the facts right

I have done my research, so you don’t think I am merely sharing my opinion. I will provide you with facts. I have read numerous articles and watched many videos on this topic.

In order for me to implement everything what I have “learned”, I would need 30 hours a day at minimum.

Do you think I want to wake up at 5 AM to get into an icy bathtub to then workout for 45 minutes followed up with stretching and meditation to then continue eating the most complicated porridge ever while I invest my money, review my goals, read about leadership, and prepare a daily list of things I am grateful for?

It is not even 8 AM and I already hate my life.

The day just started and, according to the Gurus, I still have a million more things to do.

They need to follow these recommendations

You know what would be very helpful? The Gurus should align and make an standardized daily routine that fits into 24 hours and that is doable without destroying the taste of food.

Unless we make days longer, we can’t have more of them. That group of experts is already overpopulated.

Am I really such a loser? Every time I listen to them I feel that I am doing everything wrong in my life. As if I took and keep taking all the wrong decisions that you could possibly imagine.

What really bugs me is the lack of vital recommendations in their guides. Where are the fundamental recommendations? The ones we really need and make us happier.

For example, where is coffee in the equation? A top recommendation should be something like “wake up and have a coffee or you will hate your life.”

And we all know what is coming after that morning coffee. It is sacred to go to the toilet. Sacred. But they don’t talk about this, they just keep adding new stuff to do to our days.

Don’t they realize they are stressing us out?

If you follow all those tips and hacks you won’t even have time to go to the toilet. How can you have a normal life if you can’t even do the basics or if you are busy trying to be productive 100% of the time?

I don’t trust them

And you know what, who gave them the title that states that they are better than me? How do they know how I should live my life?

They contradict each other all the time. And the worst thing that is happening right now is that they don’t stop growing in numbers. Their tentacles are infecting all social media channels.

I am going nuts, even my mentor Pico started making those guides. Will this trend ever stop?

I just want to work in peace without workshops and without being shoved in my face that I am such a failure. Am I really living such a terrible life because I don’t follow the whatever five-minute-rule?

I am not joining this cult

The VP was supposed to be a transformational leader, at least that is how he was presented to us. The only thing he has successfully transformed so far is self-help guides into workshops.

We are the resistance. Stay strong.

Sincerely yours,

Leon Rey

Important Message

Leon Rey, the Team Manager, is a fictional character created by Pico Salas G. Leon’s opinions and ideas do not reflect the author’s point of view, just as you wouldn’t assume that Christian Bale is actually Batman. This is a satire, so have fun and don’t take it seriously.

Follow Leon’s Publication to receive regular messages from him.

On a different note, Pico serves as Leon’s Mentor. Your feedback and comments are welcome and will be incorporated into Leon’s mentoring sessions and development plan. Pico will gladly respond.

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