On Hearing of the Passing of Thich Nhat Hanh on the Day of Strong Winds in Los Angeles

With gratitude

“A cloud never dies.” Thich Nhat Han

High winds may be warning for the trees, or: an invitation to dance and dazzle.

Hold on to your roots. Hold on to your branches. Let your leaves fall.

The newness of the oldness of offerings for earth, for new compost, layered — leaves were once sky — now will be memory.

Cypress lift and bend, and yes, they dance. Let your needles fall.

Crows power among gusts. Seagulls waver. Under dusty skies, above pink petals on earth, my body bristles, but

now we walk, now we lift soil with our souls, trace trails of joy.

Let my body fall. Let change happen.

I don’t listen enough to the birds or to the freeway or to the stones.

I thought a being was next to me — I opened my eyes. I was only at the center of a cyclone of leaves, and I was sunburned.

I don’t say thank you enough.

Thay said shift your body if you need to, so I did and there I found my lungs, my feet.

Thank you for your walk, for your words, and for your life.

I will look for you in the wind, and I will find you as a cloud.

Thank you.

from Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh

One autumn day, I was in a park, absorbed in the contemplation of a very small, beautiful leaf, shaped like a heart. Its color was almost red, and it was barely hanging on the branch, nearly ready to fall down. I spent a long time with it, and I asked the leaf number of questions… I asked the leaf whether it was frightened because it was autumn and the other leaves were falling. The leaf told me, “No. During the whole spring and summer I was completely alive. I worked hard to help nourish the tree, and now much of me is in the tree. I am not limited by this form. I am also the whole tree, and when I go back to the soil, I will continue to nourish the tree. So I don’t worry at all. As I leave this branch and float to the ground, I will wave to the tree and tell her, ‘I will see you again very soon.’“

That day there was a wind blowing and, after a while, I saw the leaf leave the branch and float down to the soil, dancing joyfully, because as it flooded ice its saw itself already there and the tree. It was so happy. I bowed my head, knowing that I have a lot to learn from that leaf.

from Awakening of the Heart: Essential Buddhist Sutras and Commentaries by Thich Nhat Hanh

Tomorrow, I will continue to be. But you will have to be very attentive to see me. I will be a flower, or a leaf. I will be in these forms and I will say hello to you. If you are attentive enough, you will recognize me, and you may greet me. I will be very happy.

I’ve taught our beloved teacher’s books every semester for years. I am deeply grateful for his life, work, and voice. There will never be enough thank yous.

E. Katherine Kottaras holds an M.A. in English and an M.S. in Kinesiology with a focus on Integrative Wellness, and she is a contemplative writer and holistic teacher, having worked at the middle, high school, and community college levels for over two decades. She is a yoga teacher, personal trainer, and health coach while also living with invisible illnesses and neurodivergence, and as such, she is passionate about mindfulness, bodily self-determination, and health equity. As the queer daughter of an immigrant, Katherine believes that holistic and inclusive approaches to expression, healing, and growth should be accessible to all.

Connect with Katherine on all the social medias: IG, YouTube, FB, LinkedIn, Twitter, or at katherinekottaras.com

Read every story from Katherine (& thousands of other writers) by signing up for Medium. Your $5/month membership directly supports writers (ad free!).