On gratitude

There is so much for which we can be thankful

According to the Oxford Dictionary, gratitude is, “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”.

I think we can all agree that 2020 was a pretty bad year. On top of the COVID-19 pandemic and corresponding lockdowns, the year also served me some serious health and personal challenges. In my quest to seek some calm and perspective, I stumbled onto a course called “The Science of Well-Being”, run by Dr. Laurie Santos.

I found that working through the course really improved my outlook on life during these dark times and I learnt a lot. One of the main messages that has stayed with me is the importance of gratitude. On the face of it, these troubling times don’t engender much to be thankful for, but if you look for it, kindness and care is all around. Often, these are just small gestures, but recognising them can change your day. I have begun to keep a diary of things for which I am grateful. I don’t write in it every day (or probably even as often as I should), but I am trying to make this a habit.

Gratitude is good for our mental health. Studies have shown that practising gratitude develops positive feelings and better life satisfaction. It also makes us look outside ourselves — sometimes very hard when we are feeling low. It directs us to the blessings in our lives, from people, in nature or from a higher power.

Psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California, Robert Emmons, sets out two key parts of practising gratitude:

· We affirm the good things we’ve received

· We acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness

I now try to look for reasons to be grateful. Often, they are tiny, insignificant thinks that have made my day better. Sometimes they are more profound.

About eight years ago, my adult daughter was living overseas. She planned — and paid for — a trip to England and Italy, which we did together. Of course, I thanked her then, but as time has passed, I have felt that I have never made her understand what a deep and life-changing gift that was — my first overseas trip. At Christmas, when we were together, I thanked her again and — I hope — conveyed how much that had meant. Gratitude for that experience will stay with me until my last day.

Sometimes, the heart-lifting moments are small and fleeting. You might be grateful for a bright, summer morning or a rainbow following a downpour. Once, on a morning walk past a park, a gardener picked a bloom and walked across the road to hand it to me with a cheery, “good morning! He made my day.

While I was very ill last year, my teenage (youngest) daughter annoyed me when she didn’t come home at the agreed time for tea. I waited up for her, but she didn’t arrive until around midnight. I had fallen asleep on the lounge, and she woke me when she came in by tucking a blanker around me. She had bought it for me out of her limited funds. Soft and warm, I felt cocooned and loved and my annoyance dissipated. I wrote it in my gratitude journal and that feeling comes back to me whenever I use it.

It might be a small a thing as letting you go ahead at the supermarket checkout or opening a door for you. Look out for and be aware of these little blessings and pass them forward to make someone else’s day.

Write that journal entry, savour that feeling of gratitude and bring it out and cherish it whenever you need cheering.