Summary

The author has developed a writing habit through consistent practice and guidance, leading to a prolific output on Medium, but now faces the challenge of balancing this passion with other life commitments.

Abstract

The author embarked on a journey to build new habits with the help of a coach named Liz, starting with small commitments like daily meditation and gradually expanding to include a variety of healthy routines during lockdown. This culminated in the establishment of a daily writing habit, inspired by advice from a successful writer friend, Ant. The author's writing has flourished on Medium, but the intense focus on writing has revealed the potential downsides of habit formation, such as the neglect of other important aspects of life like social interactions and family time. Reflecting on the concept of "ghost ships" coined by Cheryl Strayed, the author acknowledges the need to adjust their writing schedule to ensure a balanced life, recognizing that living fully is as important as writing for a writer's creativity and interest.

Opinions

Habit formation is akin to developing a superpower, enabling the author to consistently engage in desired activities like meditation, exercise, and writing.
The author values the process of writing over waiting for inspiration, emphasizing the physical act of typing as a means to generate ideas.
The joy of writing has become so consuming for the author that it risks overshadowing other significant life experiences and relationships.
The author believes in the importance of living a rich life outside of writing to maintain interest and creativity in their work.
The concept of "ghost ships" is used to describe the significant life choices and opportunities that one must forego when committing to a particular path or habit.

On Ghost Ships, Superpowers and Habit Building

I got sprinkled in magic dust and now I can’t stop writing

I hired Liz in January 2020 to help me build new habits. “I dream of becoming a writer,” I explained. “But I never sit down and write.”

She warned that when we’d finished working together, I’d have a superpower. She was right.

She told me to start small. “I’ll write for 60 minutes a day,” I said.

“Smaller,” Liz replied.

“30 minutes.”

“Smaller.”

Writing for any less than that didn’t seem worth it. I thought about other habits I wanted to create. I settled on meditation. Ten minutes each day sitting in silence.

Finding ten minutes every day is WAY harder than I imagined. Some days, it was only a few minutes until midnight before I had time in my schedule to sit in silence.

But I was determined. I applied the lessons Liz taught. And it worked. My meditation habit became a 20-day streak. Then 30 days. Then 50.

“You’re developing that superpower,” Liz said. “After you’ve learned to do this with one habit, you can do it with anything.”

By the time I’d gone 3 months without skipping a single day of meditation, I felt confident I’d built the habit. By this point, we were well into lockdown. With no commute and all this extra time on my hands, I decided to start work on another habit.

I found myself on a habit shopping spree.

I set a rule of no screens after 10 pm — and drastically improved my sleep.
I began exercising daily, for a minimum of 20 minutes a day and often for more than an hour.
I started intermittent fasting.
I began calorie counting.
I increased my maximum running distance to 10 miles and consistently ran longer distances.
I lost 24 pounds and ended up in the best shape of my life.

It turned out Liz was right. I’d found a superpower. With each habit I built, I became increasingly confident that I could add more habits into my life.

I felt unstoppable.

I could apply habit creation to any area of my life, follow the process I’d learned, and, like a sprinkling of fairy dust, I had a new habit.

Finally, I felt ready to apply the habit-creation process to writing. Creative writing is something I’ve wanted to do my whole life. Over the years, I’ve written stories in fits and starts, but never found a routine I could stick to.

And in turning to writing, I learned that habits have a dark side. Building so many habits came with a cost that I hadn’t yet discovered. I’ll come to that in a moment.

My first step in creating a writing habit was investigating the habits of successful writers. I looked around me to see who I could ask about this.

My friend Ant regularly writes 2000 words a day. He runs a successful online business, and he credits his success to his writing habit. He seemed like a good person to ask.

I messaged him with my questions. How does he make the time? Where does he get his ideas?

He told me two things, which weren’t the answers I was expecting, but they’re what has worked for me in creating a writing habit:

Stop trying to make time. Nobody can make time, we all have 24 hours in a day. If you’ve got something you want to say, you’ll write.
Stop trying to find ideas. Getting ideas isn’t a mental process, it’s a physical one of moving your fingers over the keyboard. Sit down at your keyboard, and type.

I’ve read hundreds of thousands — if not millions — of words in how to write, looking to unlock my lifelong block. This advice from Ant was unlike anything I’d ever heard before.

My habit creation process went into overdrive, and I started a writing habit.

Before, I’d dismissed the idea of writing for any less than 30 minutes a day. Now, thanks to what I’d learned from Ant, that seemed like a viable option. So, for 11 minutes each day, I moved my fingers over the keyboard. If new ideas came out, great. If not, I’d trust the process.

Shortly after I began this daily habit, another friend told me about Medium. She said she’s found it a great place to share her stories, get feedback on her writing, and earn a small amount of money too.

I was curious, so I decided to take a look. Did I really have what it takes to build an audience? Could I put that much energy and drive into my writing?

With Ant’s method, combined with my habit creation process, I was creating content on a daily basis. Not everything could be shaped into an article, but much of it could.

The puzzle pieces were falling into place.

Thanks to my experience with habit coaching, I knew the power of having a guide. I hired Zulie Rane as a Medium coach to show me around and give me the fastest route to building an audience. This turned out to be writing for publications. I now had a focus. I was off!

And here I am, four months and almost 100 articles later. It’s been a blast!

But it’s in writing that I discovered the dark side of habit building.

Habit creation about finding small pockets of time, which become bigger pockets. This worked well with exercise and meditation. But with writing, I’ve come to enjoy it so much, I want more time than is available. Lockdown created space in my schedule (without a commute) for new habits to emerge, to find a place in my busy life, but now I’m at max capacity.

To fit in writing, something had to give. That meant losing habits I don’t even consider as habits because they’ve been an important part of my life for so long. Time with friends, attention for my family. Sleep.

Ant was right, I don’t make time for writing, I write because I’m drawn to it. But I’m concerned about the impact on the other areas of my life.

The writer Cheryl Strayed calls these decisions ghost ships. Ghost ships are “important and beautiful and not ours.”

When you make a decision in life, you let go of other decisions. You let go of what could have been. These could-have-beens are your ghost ships.

I’m worried that with my love for writing, I’m setting sail to too many ghost ships. I’m concerned that I’m letting go of too much.

I’m grateful for this place of online journalling to take stock. To reflect on what I want my writing habit to become. Over the next few weeks, I’m planning to adjust my writing schedule to better fit around other aspects of my life. As the world opens up and I start to see friends and family again, this will be increasingly important.

I’m so grateful to have created the habit of writing. But as Tim Denning says, “a writer is only as interesting as their life.” It’s time to make sure I’m living as much as I’m writing. It’s time not just to tell stories — but to get out into the world, and go make stories too.