On First Friends and The Heartbreak That Comes When They Leave: Part II

Almost a year later

“You’re moving?”

Just like that, my five-year-old’s world changed. His best friend and closest neighbor, let’s call him Rohan, has just told him they’re moving to a city very, very far away.

“So far that he can never, ever come back!” my son cried.

If you want, you can read that story here.

It’s been almost a year.

The moment they said goodbye to each other, my then five-year-old, now six, broke down. I’ve never seen him so sad. It was gut-wrenching, because I knew, deep down, we’d not keep in touch with them.

We’d try, of course.

Despite being next-door neighbors, we didn’t really know the parents well enough — not well enough that we’d be comfortable visiting them for vacation, in a different state, several hours away. It would feel like intruding. They had demanding jobs and we rarely saw them as it was.

Our kids loved spending time together, though.

Every single day. After being in the same preschool all day, they’d meet up again at home, mostly outside in the spacious yard we shared, playing until dinner. After dinner, they’d usually run back out and play together until dark. Sometimes Rohan would wait on our deck, staring at us eating dinner, waiting for my son to come back out.

It was the cutest thing.

So, what happened?

Well, Rohan moved. His parents relocated for work.

My son hasn’t seen his best friend since the day they said goodbye, hugging and crying. I’ve sent a few texts and my son has recorded a couple of video messages to his best friend but nothing more than that. They’re both in elementary school now, busy with their new friends, new daily life.

This morning before walking out to the bus stop, I asked my son what jacket he wanted to wear. He chose one he’s received from his grandmother in Norway, but reassured me that he’d use his other jacket the next day.

“Because Rohan has the same jacket.”

He’s not wrong. I’d forgotten all about that tiny detail, how overly excited they were about having *almost* the same winter jacket.

Kids are resilient. But they’re also fragile.

My son’s first friend was the best one he could’ve ever asked for.

I can’t count how many times in the last year he’s asked for Rohan. How he wishes he didn’t move so, so, so far away. The new neighbors are great; a family with kids. But it’s not the same.

It never will be.

I’ve tried to comfort my child and tell him how lucky he was to have such an amazing friend next door. That doesn’t really help. He just wants to hang out, run around in the yard, being silly with Rohan.

And he’s not there anymore.

Suburban house hunters

I wrote another story shortly after learning they were moving away.

This one was about when our neighbors were in the process of selling their suburban house. Looking back at that story, it’s interesting to see how much the real estate market changed in a year. At the time, prices were off the charts and the interest rate was still fairly low, at least compared to now.

Throughout the day of the showing, almost every 30 minutes from the morning until 6 p.m., house hunters lined up to check out the property.

There was a suburban with five kids and a dad filling it. A sedan with a young couple with their baby and toddler. An SUV with what looked like three generations; grandparents, parents, kids. There was even a car with license plates from Texas. A pickup truck with a couple and two young boys. I didn’t realize how attractive, I guess, our neighborhood was until seeing the constant flow of visitors interested in the house next door.

The three-generation family with an SUV ended up becoming our new neighbors. It’s an incredibly kind family.

In the past year, there have been block parties, community events, and seasonal neighborhood gatherings with lots of food.

It’s been good. But I’m treasuring, deep down, those moments when I could see my son and Rohan rolling down our hill, laughing so hard.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this story. First friends are irreplaceable. There are plenty of kids in the neighborhood, in my son’s school, but the two of them shared a very special bond.

Not everyone gets a perfect first friendship. The two of them did.

*logging off to cry a bit.*