On Crapping One Out
Sometimes, you just gotta do it.
I had a project at work that I was assigned to do at one point. It could’ve been this year, it could’ve been a decade ago. I dunno.
It was probably doomed to fail. I wasn’t optimistic about our chances. But, I had to do it. We’ve probably all been in that position. It’s not going to go well, but it has to be done, so we just buckle down and do it.
For this project, I consulted a professional friend of mine on it and asked what we should do. She gave me the best advice that I’ve received for something like this: sometimes, you just have to sh*t one out.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put effort into it, nor does it mean that you can slack on your responsibilities. It just means that sometimes, a project is doomed to fail. It could be because of something you did. It could be because of reasons outside of your control. But, you’re stuck with it regardless, and you have to do it.
If you’re going to do that, put at least a little effort into it. Make it a polished turd, at least. Don’t do what I did in high school once.
I had a rough draft due the next day that I hadn’t started on. Because I’ve always been a quick writer, I sh*t out a “rough draft” that was maybe two paragraphs. It fulfilled the terms of the assignment, even though it was utter garbage. I spent maybe fifteen minutes on it. To make matters worse, I had the audacity to title it “It Was Late and I Was Tired.”
My English teacher, a woman named Kathleen who I absolutely loved and is the person who ultimately inspired me to write for a living, was not amused. She called me to the front of the class and gave me a burning insult wrapped in a compliment that I will remember forever. She pointed to a sentence she had highlighted and said to me,
“That is the worst sentence I have ever read in my life, but you used the semicolon correctly, so I have to give you some credit.”
Kathleen pulled no punches, and that’s why I loved her. I don’t remember what happened with that paper, but I will always remember that.
Anyway, it’s 7:00 pm, I’ve got a game shortly, and I needed to publish something today because I completely forgot due to running errands, so I hope this turd is polished enough for you. Thanks for reading!
