On a Roll

Summary

The web content is a humorous take on the toilet paper shortage during the COVID-19 pandemic, reflecting the anxieties and absurdities of the situation through a series of cheeky haikus.

Abstract

The article titled "On a Roll" presents a lighthearted perspective on the toilet paper crisis that emerged during the COVID-19 pandemic. Through a collection of haikus, the author, Sherry McGuinn, captures the panic and humor in the face of dwindling supplies, touching on themes such as hoarding, desperation, and the social dynamics of a quarantined life. The piece is interspersed with playful banter about the scarcity of toilet paper, the lengths people might go to secure some, and the predicament of needing to use the bathroom without the proper supplies. McGuinn's work is a blend of satire and relatable frustration, offering a moment of levity while also inviting readers to subscribe to her newsletter for further entertainment and distraction during tough times.

Opinions

The author expresses exasperation and disbelief at the toilet paper shortage, coining it as a humorous yet serious issue.
There is a sense of solidarity and dark humor in the face of absurd circumstances, as the author contemplates the possibility of using alternatives like Kleenex or Bounty.
The author lightly mocks the panic-buying behavior of the public, suggesting that people might resort to fighting over toilet paper.
There is a comedic reflection on the personal discomfort of needing to use the restroom without adequate supplies, highlighting the inconvenience caused by the shortage.
The author maintains a tongue-in-cheek tone, offering a satirical view of the situation while also genuinely seeking help from readers.
McGuinn's work implies a critique of societal preparedness and the human tendency to overlook essential items until they become scarce.

Haiku: A 12-pack!

I wish! Source: Flickr.Com

Oh, no, oh hell no! I believe I have to go. Suck it up, Sherry.

What the hell happened? Are people eating butt-wipe? There’s still mac and cheese!

Trump must take a dump. What do you think he’ll do now? Use Mike Pence’s tie?

Oh, boy, it’s coming. No, it’s mind over matter. I can do this thing.

What about Kleenex? Oh, shit, that stuff is gone, too! Still got my Bounty basic.

Screw hydration, yeah? If I drink, I’ll have to pee. No pee-pee for me.

Maybe air-drying? Walk around bare-assed all day? I’m home, after all!

But what about poop? I have to go as we speak. Suck it in, woman.

How many rolls left? Oh, dammit, we’re running short! Should I go trolling?

But fights might ensue. Because people are assholes. None of you, of course.

Would you help me out? Can you spare a roll or two? No?! Well up yours, then!

Oh, now I did it. I lost my concentration. Poor, poor, shitty me.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

Thanks so much for reading. It means a lot to me. If you’re up for more, please check out the following and above all, stay safe.

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On a Roll

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