On a cold night, you can go whenever. The contraption works best in the cold, the guy said: if it gets hot, things won’t go well. Then he walked off into the snowy woods in your clothes.

A short jump first, maybe 5 years? Enter the date, then go.

A loud whirr, then a flash. The instruments said it was 5 years later, but everything looked the same.

You’re an idiot believing such a stupid email. Decimal degrees on the subject line. All it said was “Feb 19th — 5pm. Bring $400, spare clothes (your size), in exchange for my time machine. Tomorrow you will spill blue paint on your shoes. Don’t bother replying, just show up.”

Your shoes were ruined so you showed up. He was already there — an older naked you. And he conned you. You always were a mark, as well as a conman.