MUSIC | WRITING CHALLENGE | CAT
Oh, The Places My Cat Could Go!
A musical travelogue with my cat
Pierce McIntyre dropped another fun writing prompt. Transportation songs and/or a fiction story weaving those songs into it? I can actually make use of the freakish amount of music information in my brain. Just imagine how many more practical things can be in those brain cells. If I had a catchphrase, it would be “there’s a song in that” and I will be demonstrating why. Off the top of my head, Steve Devine, I promise.
A paw tapped my shoulder.
He had thoughts. Specifically, where does he fit into this story? It’s been forever since I wrote anything about him! Granted, his idea of forever and mine are very different. He is cute, though, and therefore rather persuasive…I mean purrsuasive. Cats do transport themselves using their paws. I know of at least one that could drive even.
I am not brave enough to teach Zak how to drive. A fencing suit would not protect me from the claws that would strike me. Imagine a cat in general cageless in your car. I am brave enough, however, to write a cheesy story using transportation songs that stars my favorite feline. I hope it will be at least as good as those books you could(can?) buy where they insert your kid’s name into the story.
Buckle up!
Human picked up purse. She leaving me! She might not bring me anything back! I paw at door.
“What, you wanna come with me?”
I stare hopeful at human. Might not be scary if there’s no rusty cage involved.
Human look at me like she don’t believe me! I promise you, if you leave me now, I will be sad and the lonely won’t leave me alone. Only you leave me alone! The only cure would be returning with yums.
“Okay, fine. You can come go with me. But only because this is make believe.”
Mark human! Head bunt human’s leg things! Wait, why human pick me up? Did I agree to this? Now she open the scary loud thing and put me inside! I don’t like this place! I gotta get out of this place! Wait, not so bad without cage. I stay.
“Please don’t scream for your friends.”
Hey now now! I don’t scream. I meow loudly for them.
“No squirming your way out of the seat belt in this boat of car.”
Is this boat or car? Aren’t boats in water? If I don’t rock the boat, won’t we just float on and on and on and then the plot against the fishes in the sea can begin?
“Where do you want to go? Somewhere where no cars go?”
Is this car? Or is this boat? If car, I don’t like the cars that go boom.
“What about bicycles?”
What is bicycle? I can sniff outside from them? If I sit in basket? Would that make me a basket case?
“I don’t own a bicycle, so we’ll have to rent one. There’s a place right there; Deus Ex Machina Bicycle Rentals. Shall we keep the car running while I run inside? It’s a known fact that Dogs Die In Hot Cars.”
I cat. She leave on anyway. What is dat she holding? Gimme dat ding! She put me in basket thing. Can I zoom this bicycle from here?
“No, we are not going on a bicycle race.”
We moving! We movin’ right along! Wait, do I see a birdy?!?!?
“Come on, you know birds fly!”
Can we fly? Do bicycles fly?
“Sorry, but you’re not E.T.”
We can so fly like a bird in bicycle! This is pretend, human!
“Okay, fine. We’ll fly like an eagle.”
Whee! Like zoommies except my legs not moving. Who’s zoomin’ who then? Wait! WHO WAS THAT???
“Scary doggies and humans!”
Don’t wanna fly no more!
“So, you’re ready to go home?”
What about squirrels? We don’t need a particular place to go. How can I plot against the squirrels when I don’t see any?
“There are such things as flying squirrels.”
Human rolls eyes. “A downtown train?”
Isn’t downtown where rats live? When not in mi kitchen?
“Not a selling point.”
“Okay, fine. We’ll take a train from the Deus Ex Machina station. It will take us to a dirty old town.”
Scary humans on train! My human protect me. There are windows! And outside moves fast! Now outside dark. Rats like dark.
“Welcome to skid row. Where the youth gone wild and plants will eat you.”
Even the grass?
“Do you want to find out?”
NO! Sounds scary! We go home now!
“How would you like to get home?”
Bicycle not loud like car boat. Can you make it go zoom like lightning?
“I suppose if Kevin Bacon could, so can I.”
Human makes beep noises while we homeward bound. Human is weird. Wait, is that home?
“We are home sweet home. Seems that bike place conveniently returned the car here. Awesome! They’ll come for the bike once I call them.”
Whatever, human! Inside time!
Human needs to give me more yums. Please help so I don’t stare to death!