Oh, So, Now Y’all Like Natural Women, Huh?

The cap is rampant; let’s get into some things…

The untimely and very tragic death of Jacklyn “Jacky Oh” Smith has caused us all to rethink the culture we have created and the roles we’ve played within it. Before I dive into this topic, I want to clarify that I am in no way victim-blaming or shaming Jacky Oh. Personally, I believe women should do whatever they want with their bodies. Sure, I’m more on the natural side of things, but I am not one of those women who are angry or offended by other women getting surgery, enhancements, or anything else that makes them happy.

I am pro-woman in every form women come in. And women are too harshly criticized in virtually every aspect of society. So, whatever a woman wants to do to her body to please herself, is totally fine with me. However, I also want women to be honest with themselves (and others) about the pain and risks involved with these procedures. I fear that they’ve become so common that many don’t realize what they’re getting into until it’s too late. I think this is especially true when it comes to BBLs. Although we have undoubtedly seen the ugly side of this trend many times, they have become so common that you can almost grab one to-go from your local chicken shack.

Also, although I’m a devout womanist, I do feel for D.C. Young Fly and would like to avoid kicking him while he’s down. Nevertheless, this does not excuse the rest of you; the more I tried to ignore the blatant hypocrisy being spewed on my timeline, the more I realized I needed to address this ASAP!

What am I addressing, exactly? I’m glad you asked! I am referring to the fact that many men have the nerve to write think-piece tweets about how women need to “love their bodies” and stay natural, and this is a level of gaslighting I’m just not equipped to ignore.

I call cap

Men have been on a soapbox regarding how they want women’s bodies to look since well before the BBL made its first appearance. And as the mainstream/hip-hop aesthetic began to change, more and more men started to voice their preferences in terms of wanting super curvaceous women with huge boobs, flat bellies, and voluptuous booties.

Not only that, but they also went above and beyond to inform women who were not on par with that aesthetic that they were essentially worthless as far as dating or mating is concerned.

They pushed this narrative so much that the average woman aspired to look like the big booty vixen in the videos. This gave way to black market “a** shots” and other illegal and ridiculously dangerous procedures designed to give women this body type overnight.

And no, I’m not implying that women don’t have free will or that we are somehow mindless drones, but most hetero women want to feel physically desired by the opposite sex. Also, no matter how much we may wish things would change, men are very much the rule-makers and tone-setters of society.

Granted, not everyone is overly consumed with this, nor are all women shooting to get the attention of that demographic in particular. Nevertheless, I think it’s totally normal to want to fix things in order to be more physically appealing, and as we know, physicality and aesthetics are typically much more important to men than women.

They like big butts…

The ode to the big booty was epitomized in the 90s by Sir Mix-a-lot. So, it’s never been a secret how most of the rap industry views the hourglass silhouette. However, I need everyone to understand that the commercialization of unnaturally large rears basically began with Kim Kardashian. Before then, Black women (and some other minority women) were supposed to be curvy, but it was rare to see a White woman (yes, I do consider Kim K. to be very Caucasian…no shade!) with such a body.

Either way, once the sex tape was released, Black men went crazy for “the White girl with the big booty” in the video. From there, women on all sides started to note how much attention she was getting. And in the case of Black women, who were supposed to be shaped like this naturally, well, it was no longer an option to have anything less than a big fat a**. And obviously, many personalities since then have shown up to reinforce this new exaggerated body type.

The meme-meant of truth

Although everyone wants to write memes off as simple jokes, I would love to point out that from a psychological standpoint, jokes don’t exist. That is to say, you can’t joke about things that don’t have the ring of truth to them. So, so many a**-themed memes exist because many people are obsessed with the size of women’s behinds. Either way, it quickly became clear to most women that big butts were in, and flat booties were to be shamed and mocked.

Let’s take a look at some of the top booty-themed memes I found on the web:

Now, this dog meme is a personal fave. They’re straight up telling women that no matter how many good qualities they may bring to the table, without a huge butt, it will never be good enough.

And here are more “jokes” and truths about big butts from over a decade ago…

Now, back to the back ends at hand…

Not all men…

Once again, to discourage angry male replies. Yes, I know that not all men were pushing this message. But the vast majority of men seemed to be very much on board with this message. And I’m not just basing this on memes and likes; I’m basing it on the fact that most women who have been considered “it girls” for the past decades had the exaggerated hourglass silhouette that was brought to fame by Kim K. And indeed, even the Kardashians themselves were rumored to have gone under the knife to keep up with the trend they created.

Also, yes, I realize that women have their own preferences that we can sometimes be vocal about. For instance, we’re definitely not escaping those tall preference allegations, and I’m sure some vertically challenged men are just angrily aching to derail this conversation. Please don’t!

Either way, I noticed that since Jacky Oh’s death, lots of men have been vocal about natural women and how women need to love themselves instead of getting surgery to fit in with mainstream beauty standards. My main question is, where were you before now?! Sure, it’s possible that men are just trying to do the right thing by empowering women to love the skin their in. However, in my opinion, this is just reckless gaslighting from the very men who fueled this trend to begin with.

I mean, the BBL trend is already said to be coming to an end, with many stars removing these exaggerated enhancements in favor of much more natural physiques. Add that to the fact that there have been so many accidents, such as the most recent Jacky-Oh tragedy, and I think that many men are simply trying to rewrite history before they get called out for criticizing so many women and putting their lives in danger by suggesting or even coercing them into these life-changing surgeries.

Either way, I had noticed an uptick in this type of rhetoric and men reminiscing about “the good ole days” when women had natural bodies, and again, I’m just wondering, when did this start?! I’m sure some of you are sincere, but I believe many of you are feeling guilty and/or pandering for personal gain.

Take a look at some of these tweets:

*Disclaimer, I don’t know any of these people and am in no way asserting their unique opinions and experiences. These are just an example of what’s going on with the collective.

This is all very convenient in light of recent events. And clearly, I’m not the only one who believes this:

We all make mistakes

Look, the BBL trend has been around for well over a decade. So, yes, it’s entirely possible that some men have had a change of heart and realized the error of their ways. However, I would respect it far more if men would admit it rather than pretend they were never aboard the BBL train in the first place.

As mentioned, men are still in the main position of power within society at large. And with great power comes great responsibility. So, instead of gaslighting women about this BBL situation, is it so hard to just come clean and admit that you were wrong for pushing this aesthetic on the mAsses?

Either way, if you’re a woman, just know that no body is perfect, and at the same time, your body will always be perfect for the right person. So, rather than worrying about what’s cool or trendy, make sure you do whatever allows you to feel most comfortable in the one you’ve been given.

Do you believe all this new natural body love from men is genuine?

New to Medium? Support my writing and Become a Member today!