Oh Great, Now SITTING is the New Smoking

Might as well make it the 8th deadly sin while we’re at it

Move over AVARICE, ENVY, WRATH, SLOTH, GLUTTONY, LUST, and PRIDE. According to the Mayo Clinic, there’s a 21st-century way to ruin yourself.

And don’t bother getting up for this one!

SITTING may seem in the sloth lane, but many of us are firmly planted, butt-in-chair, fingers-on-keyboard, in a very un-sloth-wise way to make a living.

According to Salmon Rushdie,

The only commitment a writer needs is the commitment of the seat of his pants to the seat of his chair. In other words, just sit down and do your work. Sitting down is really important. Sit down and don’t get up until you’ve written something. *

Sadly, going to the gym twice a week isn’t going to save us. According to the journal Circulation,

“No amount of physical activity is enough to combat the dangerous health effects of sitting for hours each day.”

Those health effects are obesity, metabolic syndrome, depression, diabetes, cancer, anxiety, and cardiovascular disease.

Then how am I still alive?

I’ve been a world-class sitter since being the little endomorph in kindergarten who got a stitch in her side playing Duck, Duck, Goose. But weren’t we all pre-conditioned for acquiring the many ills caused by sitting? Look at the devices we were stuck in until we were old enough to vote! Trapped on three sides!

Add there’s more bad news

Sitting causes decreased hip mobility which is a leading cause of falls. It’s not doing much for our brains either. Researchers at UCLA found that adults who spend a lot of time sitting have more thinning of the medial temporal lobe, which is the part of the brain that holds our memories.

Damn, where was I was going with this?

Oh right. The Mayo Clinic suggests we save ourselves by setting the timer on our phones to get up and walk around for five minutes every hour.

(Ding) Must-walk!

Hey, we’re not Pavlov experiments!

My idea will get you out of your chair a lot more often. Fill a soup tureen with cheese popcorn and put it in another room. You’ll be hoisting yourself out of your chair to get a fistful every five minutes, guaranteed!

From one sitter to another, you’re welcome.

*Thanks for the advice Mr.Salmon Rushdie — and may you recover soon: