Oh God, What If I Am The Toxic One?
Self Check: 4 Signs You're Becoming A Toxic Person.
Introduction:
Are you trying to identify the toxic people in our lives? It is always simpler when we place the blame on them, but how frequently do we turn to ourselves?
Imagine if you were the one who is toxic in your relationships. Well, that’s what you are going to explore here in this Story insha Allah.
This won’t be comfortable. This is one of those subjects that genuinely makes you uncomfortable because it requires you to look inside of yourself and remove the Thorns from your rows.
Our inability to continually self-reflect and identify ourselves as the problem is one of the biggest issues facing Humanity today.
If you consistently engage in ways that harm others lift them rather than down, and leave them worn out depressed and emotionally drained then you might consider looking further. here are the four toxic traits to spot in yourself.
1. You Are Overly Competitive.
Do you think that winning or getting what you want is the only thing that matters? You insist people accept your truth.
Everything you do is always a competition. When you win, that’s when you’ll stop. If not, you’ll become upset.
You elevate everything to a whole new level and turn even the most insignificant activity into a competition,
Making the other person feel bad about themselves and pointing out how you perform better than them in everything, destroying any connection.
When everything becomes a contest, it can drain the energy of those around you; nobody wants to be in a circumstance where they are continually having their self-confidence questioned.
2. When People Are Avoiding You Or Disappear Out Of Your Life.
Every relationship you’ve built has an expiration date; your family doesn’t want to spend time with you and appears to have other plans all the time.
Friendships appear impossible to keep up with since they always end up in the dump your co-workers are attempting to avoid you by having brief talks.
Consider how others behave after speaking to you. Are they joyful, or do your friends or family members,
Frequently cut the talks short and abrupt and maintain stiff, formal engagements.
If that is the case, there may be a problem with your interpersonal skills.
3. You Are Very Critical To Others.
You frequently point out people's flaws and past judgments of them, we use shame as a tool to make other people feel awful and to boost our self-esteem,
You maintain that people ought to have acted differently the way you belittle their decisions, make fun of their successes, and try to convince them that you are the better person.
Considering that you most definitely think you are better than everyone, try to fix the others and their flaws with your unhelpful and unwelcome suggestions about how they should do things and how they should live their lives,
You don’t give a second thought to their wishes or how your suggestions impact their emotions. Being judgmental destroys empathy and compassion, and these serve as the foundation of closeness and Trust.
4. You Never Apologize.
You’d rather lie than say sorry. They’ll believe your story because you’ll alter the facts, repeat the events convincingly, and modify the ending for you.
You must want to be right, Then, you want to be happy and peaceful and defend your position.
By apologizing, you open the doors of communication and re-establish contact with the one you love.
Additionally, it gives you the chance to apologize for hurting them and show them your concern for their sentiments, helping them feel safer with you again.
In The End.
I want to challenge you to do these three things, and that is. start by observing your actions and judgments of others,
People serve as mirrors, and when we fail to recognize our shadow, they reflect it on us. Identify ten individuals in your life, five of whom you like and five of whom you don’t like.
Write one quality or characteristic that you like or dislike next to each person, look over the list, and think about what each word implies about aspects of yourself that you would prefer to deny or ignore.
Pay attention to those who are closest to you; pick your spouse, nearest family, or your friends for their honest opinions and ask them to list your three strengths and three weaknesses.
You need assistance to swiftly remove the filters because you cannot see your blind spots.
learn to listen without becoming upset. This is an act of empathy because you will try to understand others' emotions and thoughts while trying to experience the world through their eyes.
If you are passing judgment on the other as they are speaking, it will dampen the conversation,
Approach the conversation to understand their point of view and without passing judgment.
People will open up to you because they will feel they can trust you to respect what they are saying,
Once you understand what toxic traits look like, it’ll be easier insha Allah to spot them in you.
We all want the pleasure of Allah if he is pleased with us he will grant us the inner peace that every one of us Longs for,
“Our Prophet Muhammad (SAW) encouraged us to develop and improve our characters saying, the best among you is the one who has the best character and good manners,
Narrated by al-Bukhari.
So, keep working on your self-awareness and growing as an individual.
Thanks for reading my story 🙏