Nothing is really going to satisfy you
On the hedonic treadmill and how you can really be satisfied
“This job really sucks.”
The girlfriend looks up from her plate of half-eaten steak, a piece of it still stuck on her fork. She sighs.
“Okay, Greg, what is it this time?”
Greg tries to poke the cherry tomato with his fork, stubbornly refusing to use the spoon to scoop it up. He can’t seem to find the right angle — or is it torque? He doesn’t know either, but the journey to stabbing that miserable-looking fruit is an arduous one for sure.
“You know that recent web architecture overhaul?”
“Yeah, the one that you led the team to do, which resulted in a huge increase in conversion rates and sales, somehow?”
Greg resists the urge to smile. He wonders what his girlfriend really thinks about his work performance.
“Yeah, okay, so after that whole project, the company got a hell lot richer, right?” Greg begins. He puts down his fork. “Now that I almost doubled their company revenue, why hasn’t the main cause for that doubling be given a reward? Say, like doubling my pay?”
“So… you’re saying the job sucks because you did something really big, and you want double the pay?”
“Are you even listening, babe?” Greg cries out. He picks up the fork and tries to poke the tomato again. “That’s why it sucks! No one appreciates my effort. The company doesn’t care — they’re a money-sucking bunch, that’s all they are! All they want are results but they don’t want to pay for better results.”
The tomato, like always, zips across the table into oblivion.
“You know what,” Greg continues, “I’m going to ask my manager about this.”
A few days pass and Greg musters enough courage to bring up the issue with the manager. Greg wonders what the manager is thinking. The manager has an MBA. Graduated recently. Pretty experienced. Ran a startup once.
Greg instantly feels smaller.
“I’ll… speak to my superiors about this,” the manager says, placing a hand awkwardly on Greg’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”
A few weeks pass and Greg’s called in for a meeting with the directors. He enters the room, confident (he’s thankful he wore his lucky Calvin Klein underwear this morning — he knew something was off about today) and smiling. The director gestures for him to sit down and he does so.
“I’ve heard a lot about you. The recent project’s overwhelming success… I’m thankful for your effort. You led the team with efficiency and precision.”
Greg beams, nodding.
“You’re of great importance to this company and you’ve proven yourself. We’re not going to let a talent as you leave. While we certainly cannot double your pay this easily, we’re thinking of giving you a pay raise — and also other additional perks.”
“You’ve certainly piqued my interest,” Greg says, “so, what are they?”
Suppose that Greg walks away with a 75% increase in salary. More leave days. Exclusive health and dental benefits. That does sound amazing, doesn’t it? If Greg took home $6k every month, he’s going to take home $10.5k after that pay raise. Assuming he’s at a senior executive level, he’s now taking home the salary of a senior manager/junior director!
The bragging rights that come along with that pay raise are immense: he’s $4.5k richer every month and he’s considered important enough for a pay raise. Imagine Greg being able to talk about this for a few months, with his close friends and relatives (and maybe even gloat to his ex-colleagues).
Yet strangely, half a year later, his girlfriend starts to hear him complain again. Greg starts complaining about how he’s not treated with respect even with such a thick salary. He’s not given enough authority. He was considered important enough for a pay raise! His suggestion was rejected this morning at the meeting — and the director that approved the pay raise was sitting there. Greg screams internally.
Just like every story about human nature, Greg is just like the protagonists that always wanted more. In the modern world, it would be chasing the greens (or numbers, if you use cryptocurrency). It would be chasing car models. It would be chasing better job titles that conveyed authority, commanded respect and denoted seniority.
Greg’s just running on the hedonic treadmill, just like all of us.
Wait, why am I on a treadmill?
The hedonic treadmill, to be exact.
Suppose today, your lottery ticket turns out to be the winning one. You bring home a $10m jackpot prize money. How long does that happiness last? How happy do you feel?
Chances are, you’re not going to feel the same level of happy for long.
Suppose today, your girlfriend of 5 years broke up with you. She cheated on you and told you the truth. How long does that devastation last? How sad do you feel?
Chances are, you’re not going to feel the same level of sadness for long. 6 months or so later, you’ll most likely be back on the dating scene.
We’re all running at our own base speed
We’re always operating on a certain ‘neutral’ state. This is our base speed that we’re always going to return to, after positive or negative events. In this case for Greg, he returned to his base speed after his tremendous pay raise.
While it may seem that Greg is ungrateful, he is in fact simply unaware that he was on the hedonic treadmill all along.
In life, especially in the workforce, we’re always chasing ‘more’. Either better projects to take on, better things to do, better reimbursement… the list can go on forever. Yet, the sad reality is that even when we attain that ‘more’, we’re not going to be as happy as we think.
Will you smile when you get a $1k pay raise? Definitely!
Will you smile at your $1k pay raise after 6 months? Most likely no.
After a positive/negative event, we gradually return to our ‘neutral’ state. While positive events slowed down the treadmill’s speed, we’re going to eventually run at our usual ‘tough’ speed. That’s when we start seeking out the things that can slow it down.
So how can I truly be satisfied?
Let’s go back to Greg: after receiving that huge pay raise, Greg is looking for a promotion. What to look at here is not the fact that Greg was happier for a while after the pay raise, but the fact that Greg did not raise his ‘neutral’ state. The only way for long-term happiness to happen is to elevate your ‘neutral’ state, no matter how small it is.
The only way for long-term happiness to happen is to elevate your ‘neutral’ state.
Don’t chase material things
Sounds like common sense doesn’t it? We all know that if we chase material things, we’re not going to be truly happy. Yet, this is part of why large China e-commerce marketplaces are thriving. People shop when they’re sad. People shop when they’re richer. People shop even when they’re neither.
Is it wrong to like material things? No.
Is it wrong to derive happiness from owning material things? No.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with material things: it is only when we depend on our happiness or get huge happiness boosts from owning new things.
How can we not chase material things though? We’re bombarded with advertisements. Maybe your workplace is near an affluent neighbourhood. Maybe your colleagues sport the latest fashion. We’re constantly reminded of how amazing it is to own this and that.
But it is amazing. When you’re able to park your new Ferrari, that feeling of satisfaction is hard to replace.
But that feeling lasts only for a few months — or days if you’re surrounded by more Ferraris.
You can only expect short-term happiness from material things. Be it bonuses, cars, houses, lottery winnings, and prizes, you’re not going to stay the same level of happy for long.
Chase passion
While we all know that sometimes, passion doesn’t pay the bills. Yet, passion is what bring you forward in life in a much smoother way. Pursuing that ‘one thing you love’ is what’s going to bring your neutral state to a higher level.
Let’s say you like designing websites. You love moving pixels on Sketch/whatever software that you use. You love the process of drawing. However, when you’re tasked to design corporate websites, you get really bored and tired.
But you love design, don’t you?
What’s the thing that makes you want to start designing? What are the websites that you find enjoyable to design? It could be designing websites for pet shops. It could be designing websites for small bakeries.
Explore. Explore your passion. Find the things that you love. While we must accept that reality that we will all do things that we don’t like (for me, it’s sorting my company finances), but when I get involved in designing user interfaces.
Over time, our passion is what will lead to us having a better mood overall. When we constantly entangle ourselves in things we dislike, your neutral state will definitely take a plummet.
Find things that can elevate your ‘neutral state’
There are many things that can give us short-term happiness (a new relationship is one example). Conversely, there are few things that can give us long-term happiness, and they are usually difficult to attain, such as:
- Healthy friendships/relationships
- Self-love
- Freedom of action/speech/thought
A new relationship gives us the novelty effect: short-term happiness. However, if that relationship turns out to be healthy, supportive and symbiotic, then you’re on your way to a higher ‘neutral state’.
While there certainly many factors that can deter us from attaining them (e.g. mental health problems, personal circumstances), the fact that they are able to elevate your ‘neutral state’ is undeniable.
Accept the uncontrollable
Too many variables in our lives are uncontrollable, from traffic conditions to the temperature of the day. If you’re constantly annoyed by the scorching hot summer weather, then the only way to avoid it is to wear cooler clothes. If not, what else can you do?
If you’re constantly bugged by the uncontrollable, then you’ll set yourself up for a lower starting point of the day. Over time, this lowers your ‘neutral state’.