Summary

Susan Brearley reflects on the concept of readiness in life, from building a fan base to becoming a parent, emphasizing the importance of planning and preparation.

Abstract

In a conversation with Calaif, Susan Brearley discusses the idea of readiness, drawing from personal experiences and a quote by Kanye West. She recalls a spontaneous moment when she considered starting a podcast but chose to plan instead. Brearley also reflects on the unexpected journey of parenthood, acknowledging its financial impact and the joy her children bring her. She questions societal norms about the sequence of life events, suggesting that financial stability should precede starting a family. Despite the challenges, Brearley cherishes her life choices and the wisdom they have brought her.

Opinions

Brearley believes that while enthusiasm is valuable, preparation and planning are crucial before taking significant steps, such as starting a podcast or becoming a role model.
She challenges the traditional interpretation of the biblical passage "Be fruitful and multiply," suggesting it should encourage establishing oneself financially before starting a family.
Brearley expresses that although parenthood has been financially demanding, she does not regret her choices and values the experience over potential wealth.
She implies that the cost of raising a child is often underestimated and that society may benefit from reevaluating the timing of parenthood in one's life.
Brearley hints at a possible editorial error in the interpretation of religious texts, which may have led to misguided priorities in life planning.

Short Story

Nothing in Common

A Simple Story #5 — You’ll Never Be Ready

Calaif and I were coming back from cleaning an AirBnB house. We were talking about being ready. Being ready for having a large fan base. For having a following. For being a role model for others.

Like so many of our conversations, I can’t recall who started it.

But I remember him talking about Kanye saying, “you’re never ready, you just have to do it.”

I said, “Wait a minute! I disagree. I remember a couple of years ago when I made this pronouncement that I wanted to do a podcast. My employee at the time, a really hard worker, jumped out of her seat and into action.”

I love youth. I remember those days. So much enthusiasm. So much energy.

“And she was right by my side, holding up her smart phone, ready to start recording.”

“Really? Why didn’t you just do it?”

I told him, “because, in that moment, I recognized I wanted to plan a little. Figure out exactly what I wanted to say, what point I wanted to make. Have it be a bit meaningful. And besides that, the sound in my basement would have been awful. I was standing at my packing bench!” I didn’t also tell him that I felt like I wanted a REAL microphone, and maybe some REAL equipment.

As an aside, some short time later, a film maker did show up via AirBnB. But I was still feeling not ready, even then. Even though he was ready to film.

It’s easy to tell somebody, just jump in, and you’ll learn as you go. But sometimes, it might a good idea to lay out some plans, do some research.

I wasn’t ready to be a parent. But I did it. In retrospect, things would be different for me now, at age 60, if I hadn’t jumped into parenthood at such a young age, without any real planning. If I had known the real physical costs of the whole endeavor. And please don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my children.

I likely would have a healthy bank account by now. I might have been one of those billionaires everyone loathes these days. Instead, I spent all the money I ever earned on supporting and raising my children. Probably a wiser investment anyway.

The reports on what it costs to raise a child vary:

Child-rearing costs vary by more than $340,000, depending on where you live. In Washington D.C., you need $106,493 to make ends meet if you’re a family of 4. In Nassau-Suffolk, N.Y., you’ll need $103,606 and in New York City, $98,722. — May 20, 2019

What Does It Cost to Raise a Child in America?

Nobody wants to financially evaluate a child as you would the purchase of a car or home, but by the time your kid…

What if I had planned to have a bank account before having a child? Or even before having any relationships?

I told Calaif, “You know, I think people get that passage wrong, that says, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’. I think it SHOULD read, ‘Be fruitful — THEN multiply’ It’s an editorial error. Someone got the grammar and punctuation wrong. And look what’s happened! People put the cart before the horse.”

“Imagine if you worked and built a bank account for yourself FIRST. Knowing how much it costs to have a family now, wouldn’t that be wiser? Isn’t that what a lot of the celebrities do anyway? They go have a successful career, build a bank account, and THEN start a family? Doesn’t that make more sense?”

It seems so selfish.

But is it? Is it really?

Calaif nodded his head. And we carried on with our plans for the day.

Hey! This is a series!

Nothing in Common

A Simple Story #4 — Life is Short

And so are these:

Zen 57

A Haiku Series

Tales of an AirBnB Host

Guest of the Week — #2, Armando the Amazing

Conversations with a Zen Master

Modern Day Koan Musings #1

Susan Brearley is a published book author, writer, editor, essayist, occasional comedy writer, and an accidental poet. She is currently working on her second book, a murder mystery about an OCD detective, who’s been called a “young version of Monk”. She’s a retired systems engineer and salesperson from IBM, a serial entrepreneur, and a survivor of a stage 4 inflammatory breast cancer since 1995. She’s also working on her US Coast Guard Captain’s license, has her US Sailing keelboat certification, and is the creator and elder teacher of a new program, “VisionQuest” that mentors and teaches adults of all ages how to create the life they were born to live. She is currently based in the mid-Hudson Valley, New York.