HUMOUR

Note to Self: Stop Beating Your Wife at MortalKombat

Unless you want to sleep forever on the couch

Dear Ryan,

I know your back is hurting right now, but it’s your fault.

Can’t you just stop beating your girlfriend at MortalKombat? Why do you keep doing that?

It was her idea to buy MortalKombat, I know. The reason behind this was for the two of you to spend quality time together while the kid is in school. She did not think you would kick her ass every time the two of you play.

It’s not like you are preparing to become an MK professional player and losing from time to time gets you out of the game.

Playing is also about having fun, you know?! It’s not about winning every freaking time.

She noticed the two of you don’t communicate as much as before and considered that playing together daily will get you closer to one another. You also agreed it’s a good idea.

If you know all these things, why don’t you stop playing as if your life depended on it? It’s the 5th day in a row you are winning all the games. Last night the two of you argued and you had slept on the couch. I know you have a solid back, but do you think it’s worth it?

If you keep doing this, she will stop playing with you. You will destroy a nice opportunity for the two of you to get closer to one another just because you have a big gamer wannabe ego.

Do you think such a nice person should get sad every time she plays with you? You should appreciate she kept playing, despite losing.

Yesterday she got upset because you had the attitude of the ultimate MortalKombat master. You started giving her unsolicited advice and suggested that only noobs can’t win.

If you don't stop this, the only pair of boobs you will see in the near future will be Kitana’s, on the TV. Just think about it.

Remember why you love her, you idiot!

With friendship, The wiser version of Ryan Miller