Not On My Watch

Summary

The content reflects on the author's experiences with their rooster, Mr. Green Jeans, who has stopped crowing and displaying typical aggressive behavior, alongside an anecdote about a child's innocent interpretation of mating pigeons at a flea market, leading to the author's musings on explaining the birds and the bees to the next generation.

Abstract

The author, a rooster owner, discusses the sudden change in his rooster's behavior, Mr. Green Jeans, who has ceased crowing and exhibiting his usual vigor, prompting concern from neighbors. Parallel to this, the author recounts a humorous incident at a flea market where a young boy witnesses the mating of two pigeons, which the author cleverly explains away as one bird helping the other with a back problem. The story culminates in the author's reflection on the responsibilities of parenthood and the inevitability of children learning about reproduction from sources beyond their control, choosing to leave such explanations to others for the time being. The author also makes a subtle request for readers to support him via Ko-Fi and invites them to read another of his stories.

Opinions

The author finds humor in the situation with his rooster, Mr. Green Jeans, and the neighbors' reactions to the bird's silence.
There is a sense of nostalgia and perhaps relief in passing on the task of explaining the complexities of reproduction to someone else.
The author values the innocence of children, as demonstrated by his quick thinking in providing a child-friendly explanation for the pigeons' mating behavior.
There is an underlying pride in the rooster's previous vitality, as evidenced by the detailed description of his past behavior.
The author is seeking support from his readers, indicating a desire for validation and appreciation of his work.

Can you imagine him going back to his parents and shouting, “I got to watch them make babies!” Sometimes the best you can do is just to let someone else do it.

My neighbors had started coming over to complain that my rooster hasn’t crowed in a week. After years of living with him crowing in the middle of the night they were concerned I might have gotten rid of him, or worse. Of course the only neighbor that ever complained about my rooster crowing is in prison now and when he did complain his momma told him to shut up and stop staying out all night. Too bad he failed to listen.

Mr Green Jeans, so named because his legs had a green hue, is getting around the yard okay, seems to be eating well enough but he’s not as aggressive as before, isn’t crowing and hasn’t attempted to mount a hen in days. For someone who has mounted hens every 15 minutes of every waking hour of his entire life this is quite the change. I hope he’s better soon.

Speaking of birds mounting, while at the flea market one weekend one of our male Mookie pigeons decided to mount one of the females right before the eyes of a little boy who might have been all of 5 years old. “Look at that,” the little boy shouted, “What are they doing?”

“He’s helping her get a crick out of her back,” I quickly replied, not knowing what else to say.

“Oh,” the kid replied, “she’s got a bad back from all that dancing.”

If you’ve ever watched pigeons or doves you’ll notice that some of them tend to bob around quite a bit.

Hey, I’m all about explaining these things to children — my children. Been there, done that, it’s somebody else’s problem now. His parents, teachers or kids on the street will have to explain the rest. Can you imagine him going back to his parents and shouting, “I got to watch them make babies!”

Not on my watch.

Sometimes the best you can do is just to let someone else do it.

I hope you enjoyed my story enough to tip me via Ko-Fi. Even a few cents would be great. While you’re at it, check out Myrtle Beach, 1974.