avatarJenny Justice

Summary

The poem "Not Fine" by Jenny Justice explores the societal pressures on women to suppress their true feelings and the detrimental impact of this facade on their well-being and societal status.

Abstract

"Not Fine" is a powerful poem that delves into the pervasive cultural expectation for women to present themselves as untroubled and acquiescent, even when facing oppression and inequality. The poem highlights the personal and collective toll of this pretense, linking it to conflict avoidance, codependency, and societal acceptance of misogyny. It underscores the necessity for both women and men to reject the normalization of women's oppression and to actively work towards dismantling patriarchal structures that perpetuate these harmful dynamics.

Opinions

  • The poem suggests that the phrase "I'm fine" is a societal coping mechanism that women use to navigate a world that often dismisses or devalues their experiences.
  • It criticizes the cultural normalization of misogyny and the expectation that women should tolerate it without complaint.
  • The author argues that the burden of maintaining this facade of being fine contributes to personal health issues and societal injustices.
  • The poem calls for a cultural shift where both women and men recognize and reject the lies that justify the oppression of women.
  • It emphasizes the importance of addressing systemic issues such as patriarchy and misogyny to achieve true social justice and equality.
  • The author believes that developing empathy and sociological imagination is crucial for understanding and challenging the status quo.

Not Fine

A poem about the biggest lie women tell

Photo by chloe s. on Unsplash

The biggest lie women tell To others To ourselves

Is that we are fine That it is fine That we will be fine

When we are not fine It is not fine We will not be fine

That we are okay When we are not okay Because what else are we supposed to say?

This lie serves us well in the moment And eats away at us For our entire lives

It ensures episodes of conflict avoidance Lifetimes of codependency Enshrines resentment into every relationship

I’m fine, it’s fine, don’t worry, no worries Day in and day out, Putting anything and everything, anyone and everyone,

Over us, over our needs, over even asking Am I fine? What is fine? What do I need to get to fine?

Since we don’t wonder, or ask, or think about ourselves much We carry it in places, we load up our baggage We get headaches, we get sad, we gain weight, we isolate

Because this lie is easy on everyone around us It is what society wants to hear, what culture dictates When women have to witness misogyny on screen, in lyrics, on stage

We are supposed to say, oh that’s fine, I’m fine, we’re fine And make sure everyone has a good time At our expense, personally, politically, daily, for centuries

I’m fine As we burn I’m fine As we are stuck in the kitchen I’m fine As we are denied rights

We carry the weight of this lie within is And it is time to throw it off I am not fine, this is not fine, nothing is going to be fine

Until this culture rips up Patriarchy at the root Ends misogyny as way-of-life in law, As entertainment, language, as sport

And until men realize that they too can be not fine with the lies told to justify the dynamics of women’s oppression

Jenny Justice is a mom, Sociology instructor, and writer. You can follow her on Medium and at Jenny Justice, Writer. She has been recognized as a Top Writer on Medium in Poetry, Parenting, Reading, Education, Racism, and Climate Change, so far.

Poetry
Women
Human Prompt
Human Parts
Feminism
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