Not All Young People Are Healthy
Stop judging a book by its cover
Our society generally views anyone under the age of 35 (Millennials and Gen Z’s) as “young and healthy.” This places everyone in those age groups in a box, making it even more difficult for people that don’t fit the mold. I am young, but I am not healthy. Although I’m only 24, my body has aged to 84. It doesn’t work the way it should, unlike my peers’.
Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about
From the outside, I look perfectly healthy. Looking at me you don’t see the years of trauma my body has been through. You don’t see the hundreds of times I’ve been stuck with a needle. You see a young happy person. My illnesses are invisible — mostly because I do my best to hide them. Just because someone appears healthy, don’t make assumptions. According to Disabled World: “96% of people with chronic medical conditions live with an illness that is invisible.” This means that you can’t tell from looking at someone that they are sick. There are no obvious signs of illness.
It’s not socially acceptable to be sick as a young person. People think you are faking your illness, which makes it even harder to cope with being sick. I wish so desperately to be healthy, it’s all I’m ever striving for.
Hearing phrases like “back when I was in my 20s”, “your 20s are the best years of your life”, and “you’re only young once” are completely and utterly soul crushing for sick young people to hear. There’s nothing I crave more than the healthy young life that others take for granted. It tears me apart that I’m spending my “best years” like this. Being sick, surrounded by healthy peers, is hard enough. Please don’t make it more difficult by stereotyping.
Coronavirus
The pandemic has only made things worse for people like me; making us further isolated from our loved ones. Being ill inherently comes with a degree of separation and isolation.
However, at the start of quarantine, in a way I felt less alone. The rest of the world was getting a glimpse into my life. Now everybody was forced to stay home like I have for years.
But as the months droned on, people started feeling more anxious and trapped. More and more people began venturing out and traveling. Their healthy bodies allowed them to do so.
With this happening, older generations began looking down on the “young kids” because they were being selfish by going out and taking little precautions.
What most fail to realize is that many young people are also high risk. Yes, many of my peers are out parting with no regard for anyone but themselves, but not all of us are. I rarely leave my house, and when I do it’s out of necessity. I have been more careful and isolated than anyone I know.
Be Kind
No one chooses to be sick — especially young people. Instead of showing empathy, people are so quick to judge because they don’t understand you. Instead of showing you grace — they label you as a liar.
Being sick is hard:
- They say: You’re too young to be sick
- You get nasty looks when parking in the handicap spot. No I didn’t seal my grandma’s handicap sign.
- You get stared at when you don’t offer your seat to older people.
- You are always the youngest person in the waiting room.
- I take medications and use aids that are advertised for people twice my age.
These are constant reminders that we don’t fit into this world, we don’t belong.
Can you imagine living in a world that doesn't understand you? It’s hard enough being sick during “my best years,” when the rest of my friends are living my dream.
Reach Out
If you know someone struggling with a chronic illness, reach out to them. Show them that you care. Being chronically sick is very isolating and lonely. Most of us try to hide our illness and downplay our pain — to better fit in. They are probably struggling more than you know.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate a friend reaching out to see how I’m doing, or just for someone to tell me they’re thinking of me.
Anyone Can Become Sick
Chronic illness does not discriminate and you shouldn’t either. It doesn’t care about your goals, dreams or ambitions. It doesn't care about your life plan. It doesn’t care how much money you have or who you are. Anyone can become chronically ill, at any time.
Before being sidelined by my illnesses, I worked my butt off in college and graduated top of my class. I was on my way to having a very successful career. That all changed when I got sick. Don’t mark people with chronic illnesses as lazy. Until you have lived in my body — don’t judge. You have no idea the courage it takes to get through the day. Anyone, even you, can become chronically sick.
Parting Thoughts
Be kind to every person you encounter because you truly never know what someone is going through. While my friends are getting married, being promoted, moving to new cities; I am searching for my next doctor or treatment. Being sick while young is devastating enough, don’t make it harder by judging me on my age. You shouldn’t need to know what someone is going through to be kind. Life is not always as it seems; put kindness before judgement.
For my fellow spoonies out there, you are not alone. I know it can be hard, but keep fighting. One day you will be understood.
In a world that seems uncontrollable, let’s take advantage of what we can control.