Not a Good Mother

Summary

The author reflects on her personal journey and philosophy of motherhood, emphasizing strength and self-care over traditional roles.

Abstract

The article titled "Not a Good Mother" delves into the author's perspective on motherhood, influenced by her father's teachings of strength over societal expectations of perfection. She rejects the notion of special days to honor women, advocating instead for the freedom to be oneself without constraints. The author acknowledges the challenges of life and parenting, and how her approach, which prioritizes her own happiness alongside her child's, may not align with the conventional idea of a 'good mother.' She embraces her identity, acknowledging her sacrifices and the importance of being true to oneself.

Opinions

The author values the strength and independence instilled by her father over traditional gender roles.
She opposes the idea of designated days to celebrate women, preferring continuous recognition of their true selves.
The author considers herself not a 'good mother' in the traditional sense, as she prioritizes her own happiness, which she views as a form of self-preservation and authenticity.
She recognizes the sacrifices mothers make but believes in the importance of not losing one's identity to motherhood.
The author's narrative suggests that being a 'good mother' also means being a fulfilled individual, not just a caretaker.

Reflection on being a mother

I look forward to a time when you wear your own words. - Koh Tsin Yen

My Father never taught us how to be a perfect wife or mother but he taught something else, he taught us how to be a strong woman. So judge me when I say that I don’t believe in these special day’s to honour women because in the real sense if you want to honour them let them be who they are, let them breathe the way they want.

I know life is not the same for all or an easy one for me but call it tough parenting mixed with independence call it letting go without looking back, we moved on.

I walked as if that’s how it was supposed to be. Now when I see posts by women saying that they are a good wife or a mother I know the sacrifice, the many stories which they would have buried for others. Now when I write this I know I am not good mother because I care for my happiness too, call me selfish but that’s how we were molded to be a human first not just a woman with some baggage.

Call me whatever this is the truth which makes me what I am.