ADVICE | PEOPLE | RECIPROCAL

How Does One Stay Calm With the Nonchalant?

Maybe reciprocity is the way?

I’m unsure if being nonchalant and carefree means the same things. But I don’t like the feeling it’s forcing on me.

Also, I’m not the one to be pushed or bothered by others, but this time. I’m bothered. It almost feels like I’m dragging my feet to breathe some air.

How does one stay calm with the nonchalant?

A recent incident close to me revealed how one roommate reached the peak of being nonchalant after she left her sick child to be cared for by another friend.

Now, it got me thinking.

• How could you not be bothered about your life and leave others worried?
• Why would you use your nonchalant attitude to bully good people?

Being nonchalant can be a social shied!

I just found out about this when I saw that it had some positive advantages.

According to this piece, ‘The essential art of nonchalance,’ the attitude of being calm in adverse situations, not having anxiety, and even having less enthusiasm sometimes is a good thing.

1. Nonchalant writers:

I once experienced this with some of my writer friends who faced the wrath of hate comments in the past, but they utilized a unique ability that I imagine to be nonchalant.

They didn’t get bothered by the comments. Instead, they kept going and going strong.

2. Nonchalant judge:

I reckon it’s a great trait, too when you are someone like Simon Cowell, who has a very demanding job as a talent show judge. The attitude of being nonchalant helps him resist giving a yes too early on in a performance.

Indeed, in some cases, you shouldn’t be too enthusiastic or easily impressed. It does have an advantage. One that can be envied and utilized within specific social constructs.

For this reason, everyone is supposed to be carefree to a certain level. But it gets wrong when it becomes a defective trait.

When does it become a defect?

It becomes so defective when you stop caring about yourself and leave others worrying.

Now that I think of it, I could easily count with my fingers just how many times I have been nonchalant, too, that I acted carelessly, even when I needed help.

Meanwhile, I also can remember a few friends who have been nonchalant and left me to bother so much about them.

• If you’ve got a partner who cares less about cleaning and leaves you worrying every time, that you suddenly develop OCD. Well, there you go.
• If you’ve got a friend who doesn’t care about their ruins and leaves you to worry so much. That’s a nonchalant person.

It might be natural to have some carefree attitude or to be nonchalant at some point, but it sure isn’t the best feeling when you indirectly expect others to take care of things for you.

Just like one roommate/single mom who went on a partying spree and left her sick child with her friend. She knows that her friend has a good heart and would take care of the kid regardless.

That right there is the reason why being nonchalant can be wrong altogether.

So! How does one stay calm with the nonchalant?

The more I think of it, the more I become furious. Someone could act so carefree and leave others to worry or intentionally utilize the act to bully good people.

It vexes me so much.

Maybe because I imagine myself to be a good person or because I am a first child who loves to see everything in order; hence, I imagine others who do less to be nonchalant.

Either way, if you’ve got a nonchalant person close to you…

• One way to start is by not allowing them to bully you — they might not know that they are nonchalant, but you shouldn’t have to fix everything at all times.
• Be a monkey yourself if you want to catch one — you might have to be reciprocal and act casually, too, so that they can get a taste of their poison.

Hopefully, that would make you feel calm with a nonchalant person. If it doesn’t, it may be the right time to let them know how carefree and loose they are.

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