Noggin Jukebox Syndrome
A baffling case
Dr. Danforth opened the door and welcomed Jeremy into his office, “Please have a seat.”
Jeremy sat down in a comfortable plush chair and Dr. Danforth sat in a similar chair across from him.
Dr. Danforth reached over to his desk retrieving a notebook and pencil, “So, Jeremy, what’s troubling you?”
“Well, Dr. Danforth…”
“Please, call me Dan.”
“Okay, so… uh… your name is Dr. Dan Danforth?”
“Yes, but like I said, you can call me Dan.”
“Yeah, well, I… uh… got a serious problem with my noggin. It’s driving me bat shit cuckoo. You see, my noggin is like some out-of-control jukebox or something. The second I wake up in the morning a song pops on and I then hear music in my noggin all day long. Constantly. Non-stop. I can’t get it turn off.”
“What kind of music?”
“Well, that depends. You see, when I hear a song that song then plays on repeat in my noggin for six to eight weeks and I just can’t get it to stop. But it’s not just that song but every song I’ve heard in the last two months. It’s like a playlist looping endlessly and there’s never any silence. The music just won’t stop.”
“Oh my.”
“I’ll give you an example. About two weeks ago I was walking down the sidewalk headed for the parking lot where my car was. Just to my side a car passed by me slowly. It was driving slowly because it was approaching a red light. Well, the driver of this car had their car stereo blasting and a Taylor Swift song was playing. I’ve heard that song before so there is a file of it in my noggin. Even though I only heard a snippet of the song coming from that car it was enough to trigger and open the file in my noggin. I’ve been hearing that Taylor Swift song for the last two weeks and I know from experience that it’ll be stuck in my noggin for at least another six weeks. That’s how long it takes for a song to finally fade away. I just can’t get Taylor Swift to shut up.”
Dr. Danforth gasped.
“See, I’ve got tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of music files in my noggin; like every song I’ve ever heard in my life. Any of those songs can get triggered at any time — and just by hearing part of it. Sometimes if I just hear the title of a song it will start playing and then there’s nothing I can do to make it stop. I can only wait and keep listening to it for the next six to eight weeks.”
Dr. Danforth scratched his gray goatee.
“I’m losing it, Dan. I’ve tried everything to get the music to stop but nothing works. I never ever listen to the radio or to music because I know what will happen. I never shop at stores that play music. I never eat at restaurants that play music. I can’t even watch TV. I can barely go out into the world without hearing music. It’s everywhere.”
“Have you tried meditation?”
“Meditation? How the hell can anyone meditate with Taylor Swift screaming in their noggin? Now I have tried listening to some of that New Agey meditation music and that doesn’t get stuck in my noggin but the current playlist looping in my noggin just plays right over that. There’s nothing more frustrating than hearing two very different songs playing simultaneously. I just can’t get the current playlist to stop. All I can do is try my best not to ever hear any music and just wait until the current songs playing in my noggin finally stop.”
“What song are you hearing now?”
“The Beatles song, Oh-bla-dee, Oh-bla-da. This is a perfect example. Canned Muzak was playing in the elevator as I came up here to your office and the Muzak version of Oh-bla-dee, Oh-bla-da was playing. This triggered the file in my noggin of the original Beatles version. Now I’m going to be listening to the Beatles for the next six to eight weeks thanks to that damn elevator.”
Dr. Danforth looked down at his notepad seeing that he had not yet written anything down. “Have you tried hypnosis?”
“Actually I have. But the hypnotherapist couldn’t get me to relax enough to hypnotize me.” Jeremy grabbed his head with both hands and shook it, “I just can’t get the music to stop!”
“Jeremy, I’ve got to be honest with you. In my thirty-two year practice I have never heard of anything like this. I’m baffled. I just don’t know what to tell you.” Dr. Danforth then scribbled something on the notepad then tore it off and handed it to Jeremy, “I’m going to refer you to Dr. Wellingham. His office address is on the paper. He’s a noggin specialist. If anyone can help you it would be him. But, like I said, I am thoroughly stumped.”
Jeremy stood, “Well, thanks for at least seeing me. I appreciate it.” Jeremy headed for the door but just as he reached it he turned around and asked, “Uh, Dan. I don’t want to get back in that elevator. Could you tell me where the stairs are?”
Dr. Danforth stood up, “Uh, sure. They’re at the very opposite end of the hallway.”
“Thanks.”
As Jeremy left Dr. Danforth walked around his desk and sat in his desk chair. Thinking about what just happened he was utterly confused. Nothing he had learned at the university or during his long practice was of any help. No case had ever baffled him like this. Was this some kind of new mental pathology that no one knew about yet? He made a mental note to call Dr. Wellingham to see what he thinks about.
Then, out of the blue, Dr. Danforth began softly singing…
Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace Molly is the singer in a band Desmond says to Molly, girl, I like your face And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand
Dr. Danforth slammed his hand down on his desk to make himself stop singing. He was singing Oh-bla-dee, Oh-bla-da and he didn’t even hear the song. He merely heard Jeremy mention the title. A feeling of intense dread overcame him. Could Jeremy’s bizarre condition somehow be contagious?
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. White Feather Stories
Speaking of music…
