Summary

The article "Nobody Cares About You — and That’s a Good Thing" by Moreno Zugaro suggests that people's self-absorption can be advantageous for personal freedom and authenticity.

Abstract

The author, Moreno Zugaro, argues that the general indifference of people towards others' actions can be liberating. He posits that this societal trait allows individuals to act authentically without fear of judgment. Zugaro uses personal anecdotes, such as singing in a supermarket or wearing sunglasses indoors, to illustrate that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to care about such behaviors. He emphasizes that this lack of attention from others provides an opportunity to be true to oneself, experiment with new ideas without the fear of widespread scrutiny, and manage one's time effectively without constant interruptions. The article encourages readers to embrace their uniqueness and focus on the opinions of those who truly matter in their lives.

Opinions

The author believes that people's preoccupation with their own lives leads to a lack of interest in the actions of others, which can be beneficial for personal expression.
Zugaro suggests that the fear of being judged should not prevent individuals from pursuing their dreams or behaving authentically.
He points out that with limited popularity or reach, individuals have the freedom to try new things and potentially fail without a large audience witnessing it.
The article conveys the idea that time and attention are precious commodities that become increasingly scarce with growing popularity or recognition.
Zugaro encourages readers to prioritize their own values and interests over societal expectations, as long as their actions do not harm others.
He advocates for building relationships with people who genuinely care and appreciate one's true self, rather than seeking approval from the masses.

Nobody Cares About You — and That’s a Good Thing

People are way too busy with themselves — use it to your advantage.

Do you sometimes feel awkward in social situations because you’re worried about what others might think of you?

Do you often catch yourself thinking, “I can’t do that. What will people think of me?”

Are you afraid of following your dreams because you don’t want to be judged by others? Or do you sometimes wish you were more popular and had more reach?

If you answered yes to at least one of these questions, this one is for you.

My brain is weird. I’d say I’m pretty smart. I scored a 760 point GMAT — the average of Harvard’s 2018 incoming class was 729. I got accepted into two of the highest-ranking business universities in Europe and passed their admissions with flying colors.

I do very well in social situations and, according to my friends, show a lot of empathy on a regular basis.

But at the same time, I often have what I call episodes of going temporarily mental.

For example, I sing songs out loud at the supermarket. Some weeks ago, during grocery shopping, I got a cheese advertisement stuck in my head and blurted out GERAMOOONT GERAMOOONT, NANANANANAAA at least twenty times while in the middle of the supermarket. It’s a really catchy tune.

Remember the Snaaacks kid? Yesterday, I rode my bike through the city with a friend and repeatedly screamed SNAAACKS on top of my lungs for everyone to hear.

I don’t do these things because I feel compelled to, like someone with Tourette’s would. I do them because they’re fun and I really don’t care what others think. And I love to see people’s reactions.

Speaking of which: Can you guess which reaction I get the most? People being surprised? Scared? Laughing? Weird looks? Pulling their kids away from me and talking behind their hands? Nuh-uh.

No matter what kind of weird stunts I pull, the reaction I get the most is an uninterested look, followed by complete indifference and the person going back to whatever they were doing.

Nobody cares about you

I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that important. The average John Doe really doesn’t care about what you’re doing or saying. Even if he notices you (man, I wish this dude would shut up with that stupid cheese commercial), he’ll forget about you after two minutes.

He will be back in his own life and in his own problems — not enough sexy time with the wife, deciding if he should have the double chocolate donut or listen to his doctor’s advice instead, and so on.

99% of people are so immersed in their own lives that they either don’t even pay attention to anything that isn’t directly related to them or they forget about it two minutes later.

Nobody cares about you. Damn. Sounds pretty disheartening, doesn’t it?

Actually, it’s quite the opposite. It’s one of the best things ever. And I’m going to show you why.

You can be true to yourself

This is by far the biggest point for me. When nobody cares about you and remembers what you did, you can behave like you want to, not like other people expect of you.

I walk through the city barefoot in summer, wear sunglasses inside in winter, and dance my socks off at the train station while I’m waiting for my transport. I do it because it is what I feel like doing and because that’s the person I am.

As I am writing these lines, my vis-à-vis neighbor hung half of his upper body out the window to catch some sun while picking his nose. Who cares? I’m going to forget about it in a couple of minutes anyway.

Be yourself. It’s much more fun than constantly worrying about what society thinks of you.

And I guarantee you, they don’t think much about you. At all.

You can try things out and fail quietly

As a writer, I often wish that I had more reach. I wish I had more followers and more people reading my articles. But popularity comes with a problem. When you mess up, a lot of people are going to see it.

Take this article. I’m no bestselling author yet, so my reach is rather limited. That means I can try out things. If I had two million readers, I bet that some of them would take it the wrong way and go apeshit about how people who suffer from severe loneliness could get rubbed the wrong way by the headline.

(I’m not making this up. Tim Denning said in one of his articles that he was called sexist because, for three consecutive blog posts, he had the audacity to chose cover pictures without female models. Geez.)

Ever noticed how a comedian’s material gets more and more mainstream once their popularity increases? When a million people are watching your shows, you’ll think twice about making a dead baby joke.

If you are building something that hasn’t come off the ground yet, use this to your advantage. Find your personal style. Be bold. Try out as many new things as you like. If your ideas fail, they fail quietly.

You have time for yourself and what matters to you

If you go to Mark Manson’s contact form, he states that he receives about 500–1000 emails per week. A friend of mine who has founded eight start-ups told me that he gets about 2000 emails per day. To quote him: “Without mail filters, I’d be dead, man.”

Whether you believe these numbers or not, one thing is for sure. The more popular you are, the more other people are trying to get a piece of your time.

I experienced this first hand when I was running multiple Instagram business accounts. The amount of DMs I got from people who had a business offer or who wanted a shoutout was insane.

Now that I have been diving into the areas of personal development and productivity, friends are asking for advice and coaching.

That’s not inherently a bad thing. I love to give advice and help people out, else I wouldn’t write articles like this one. But it goes to show that the more people know you, the harder it gets to protect your own time and interests.

When nobody cares about you, you can do your thing and spend your time as you wish. Working, talking to the family, and going on a date with a girl without having the groupies ask for photos. You are much more in control of your own life, simply because nobody even knows you exist.

If nobody cares about you, who should you care about?

If you only take one thing from this article, let it be this: Stop caring so much about what other people might or might not think about you. They don’t care anyway. Your life is yours and their life is theirs. Period.

As long as you don’t harm anyone else, you should do what you feel like.

Be your real self. If you’re a weirdo sometimes like I am, own it. You will find people who love you for who you really are, just like my friends love me for the fun my mental episodes bring into their lives.

You will find people who actually care about you. And these are the only ones you should care about.

~ Moreno

If you enjoy my writing, you can get full access to my content by becoming a Medium Member today.

I help men get more masculine so they can live a meaningful life that’s true to their authentic selves. Join over 1000+ others and become part of the Authentic Men Tribe by signing up for my free 5-minute newsletter!