No Treats

Three Variations On A Writing Prompt, In 100 Words Each

This is my attempt to write three variations on a writing prompt by Jonathon Sawyer. The prompt was “A child (or two, or ten) knocks on your door. But instead of candy, they want… What is it these children want? Will you give it to them?”

Each version is exactly 100 words long and meant to describe the same situation from a different perspective.

“Knock, Knock!”

I heard the voices of the neighbors’ kids in my front yard.

Why they wouldn’t just knock or — you know — ring the doorbell like a normal person, escaped me. But whatever.

“Come in!”

No reaction.

“Knock, Knock!”

“It’s open. I have your fucking candy, just take it”.

It occurred to me that I probably shouldn’t have cursed in front of 7-year olds but at this point I was too annoyed to care.

But nobody came in.

“Sorry for being rude”, I finally said. But they were long gone.

They just wanted to hear me say “Who’s there?”

“He’s not gonna say it.”

Billy was only eight years old but already cynical beyond his age.

“Shut up, Billy.”

The others were all in agreement for once, laughing off their friend’s concern and moving towards the house with the disheveled jack-o’-lantern in front.

“That pumpkin looks like it’s five years old.”

“You’re five years old, Mikey”.

They all laughed at the expense of their seven-year-old friend and proceeded to carry out their prank.

“One, two, three … KNOCK KNOCK”

“Come in.”

Billy did a little told-you-so dance.

“Alright then. Let’s try this again.”

Dear Children,

Last night I witnessed your sad attempt at pranking an innocent man. Good for him for not falling for your shit! I probably shouldn’t curse in front of you, but you kids see worse things on the youtubes every damn day anyway, so fuck it.

Your idea has been done before. In the course of just 30 minutes four different groups of teenage ne’er-do-wells tried to pull the exact same stunt. So please, at least get a new gimmick!

And I will not even dignify that “five years old” joke with a reply.

Greetings,

The Pumpkin

Thanks to everybody for reading and thanks to Jonathon Sawyer for the prompt. This was a lot of fun to write!

Shoutout to Katie Michaelson. The pumpkin has strayed from his home a bit today, but he will be back tomorrow. Hope it’s not too jarring to see him work blue for a change! ;)