No Long-Distance Relationships Allowed

Summary

The author advises against maintaining long-distance relationships during college, emphasizing the importance of individual growth and the potential pitfalls of trying to maintain a relationship across distances.

Abstract

The article reflects on the author's personal experience with a high school relationship that continued into college. Initially, the relationship was positive and formative, but it became strained as both partners attended different universities. The author argues that such long-distance relationships can impede personal development and lead to feelings of guilt and disloyalty. He suggests that men, in particular, should consider ending relationships before college to avoid these issues and to be open to new experiences and social interactions without the constraints of a long-distance commitment. The author also criticizes the expectation that men should tolerate negative behavior in relationships and advocates for standing by one's values. He concludes by encouraging young men to recognize when a relationship is no longer beneficial and to act accordingly, drawing a parallel to married couples who choose to divorce.

Opinions

Long-distance relationships in college can hinder individual growth and socialization.
Men should not feel obligated to endure disrespect or negative attitudes within a relationship.
It is important to know when to end a relationship that causes stress and anxiety.
Relationships that are no longer beneficial should be terminated to make way for personal development and happiness.
The decision to stay in or leave a relationship should be based on whether the partner makes life easier or harder.
The author believes that the challenges of a long-distance relationship can be avoided by breaking up before going away to college.

Why you should break up with your girlfriend before going away to college

Katelyn was her name. She was the girl I lost my virginity to, and I didn’t take that lightly. Our time together was tumultuous to say the least, but I learned a lot from it in retrospect.

The first few intimate encounters we had, I was closed off and wouldn’t let her in. She would try to make an advance and I would shut her down. And what did she expect? I had no formal training or education when it came to sex, so I was standoffish at the very least and socially awkward at best.

However, after I let her in so to speak, my whole world changed. I remember the first time I allowed myself to relax enough to nut in her mouth. It was the best feeling in the world. That is, until we had actual sex. That was another milestone that I ticked off my bucket list.

All in all, the beginning of our relationship was damn near flawless. We got along well, grew as a couple, and explored adulthood whilst still having one foot in the pond of adolescence all the while. That is, until the later years…

After we both went to college, it became harder and harder to continue our relationship, most likely because we were going to different schools at the time. She would drive up to Jacksonville to see me at UNF, and I couldn’t get acclimated to college life with my long-distance girlfriend dropping by unannounced at her leisure.

Constantly, I would feel like I was being unfaithful to her, often times without me actually even technically cheating. Just being friendly to another female had me questioning my loyalty to Katelyn, and whether that feeling was grounded in reality or not, it still made me feel like shit. I was screwed, and it was all my own fault.

This is why I tell men to break up with their girlfriends before they go away to college. If they don’t, it will hinder their growth as individuals because they’ll be less apt to go out of their way to socialize and potentially get a date with a girl, since most men are solid individuals and wouldn’t dare entertain any tomfoolery when it comes to relationships. A noteworthy flaw, yes, but one that can be learned from and prevented in the future. I say this because men are seldom rewarded for their monogamy. It’s just a given that men are supposed to take all the disrespect and all the attitude that a woman gives them without hesitation. I say no, it’s not a given that a man should be a simp. A man should stand on his values and let his woman know what’s up.

Overall, college sweethearts often stay just that: college sweethearts. Nothing more, nothing less. Know when it’s time to cut ties with a girl, and know when it’s more beneficial to stay with her. If she makes your life harder, break up with her. If she makes your life easier, stay. It’s as simple as that. My dad tried telling me this years ago, but I was too stubborn to take his advice. If I had, I could have saved myself countless hours of stress and anxiety caused by relationships that were long overdue.

Hopefully, I can help other young men like myself find peace, if nothing else. The world is rough out there; there’s no need to make it harder by staying with the wrong girl. People who have kids and are married decide all the time to throw in the towel and get a divorce. If they can do it, who’s to say a young, childless version of themselves who’s not even engaged yet can’t do the same? Think about it. The earlier on you realize she’s not for you and do something about it, the better.

No long-distance relationships allowed.