No, I Don’t Want To Buy Your MLM Products or Go Out With You

Learn to read the room, why don’t ya?

I don’t like confrontation and even the thought of confronting someone makes my heart beat a little faster. But, I’m pretty fed up lately and I am teetering on confrontation because my radio silence hasn’t proven to work.

Ten years ago, I met a mom of my one of my daughter’s friends at school, let’s call her Jamie, and the relationship started out innocently. The girls had some playdates and we would talk at school drop-off and pick-up.

As they started hanging out more, I started to get to know Jamie more and she seemed like a great person. We got along well and the conversations always flowed, never any awkward silences which I always appreciate.

Now, thinking back, I am wondering if her motive was to hook me in from the start with her ease and smooth talking.

MLM Madness

Arbonne, Young Living, Doterra, Scentsy, and Rodan & Fields were pretty popular here around this time. I’d been to a few “parties” and roped into buying their ridiculously priced goods. I did like some of the things but was never a repeat customer because of the price.

My daughter and Jamie’s daughter started dancing together and after our first parent meeting where we learned we had to buy the girls a ton of new makeup for the stage, Jamie approached me afterward.

She mentioned previously that she was a rep for Arbonne and to let her know if I was ever interested in having a party. I said probably not and she didn’t ask again.

But, her eyes must have lit up with dollar signs when she realized that all of the dance moms had to purchase makeup for their daughters.

“You know, Arbonne makeup is all organic and free from toxins, which we shouldn’t be putting on our girl’s faces”, she told me. “I can get you a deal so let me give you a catalog so you can look at it and let me know.”

I could already feel the pressure building. Everyone I have been around that worked in the MLM industry always gave the same vibe.

She mentioned it without strings at first the lure me in, to show that she wasn’t pressuring me. I could take it or leave it, didn’t matter to her.

But because I needed the makeup and I had a hard time ever saying no, I agreed to check it out. I gave it some thought and it wasn’t much more expensive actually for the staples that I needed for dance.

Plus, she figured out how to sell me on the product. She was good, I’ll give her that.

I made my one-time purchase. That was a big mistake. A mistake that I am still paying the price for now.

Since that moment, she has asked me over and over again to do parties. Once I even agreed because I was sick of getting heckled, but then canceled with some excuse a few nights before the event.

She invited all of the dance moms to spa nights at her house, while she pushed products. We all said yes a few times and then got heavily annoyed when the requests wouldn’t stop even though we started saying we weren’t interested anymore.

I made another mistake by buying something at the last spa night we went to. I was really only going to these things to hang out with the moms and drink wine, let’s be honest. So, tipsy me thought it would be a good idea to buy one of the spa products.

Get the hint

Eventually, the girl's friendship fizzled out and we moved schools and dance studios, not because of them though. She wasn’t all that bad.

I thought our relationship was over and I would stop being her prey. But, the texts and emails haven’t quit. For the past 8 years.

I haven’t seen this woman or talked to her since. I’ve kindly asked to be taken off her list and that I wasn’t interested in Arbonne anymore.

I almost feel the need to block her on social media. She comes in during times she thinks I am weak, like when my daughter left to go to school. Her son also went away to school and she “wanted to commiserate”, asking me to go for coffee.

I even had a slight thought of, “That would be nice, she is a nice woman”, to immediately thinking, hell no. I know what she wants. I still get all of the emails and texts regarding products, remember?

Peace out

So, I kindly said no and that I didn’t have time but she kept asking. I finally stopped responding and completely ghosted her. But, the texts and emails kept coming.

Today, I blocked the numbers because you know, I don’t like confrontation and she won’t take a hint. I always feared that I would see her out in public, as I have before, but I gave up on that notion. If I do, I do. It won’t be the end of the world.

Sure, I could delete the texts and emails when they come in as I have been doing, but come on. 10 years. I’m tired of it.

When do you not get the hint? Read the room, why don’t ya?

I’ve seriously wondered every time she contacts me if she actually has friends. Because she has to pester everyone right? I saw her do it to all of the moms at school and dance.

Anyway, my point here is, get some street smarts. When people say no or refuse, they mean no. Especially after the 10th time they’ve said no.

How do some people not get the hint? Although, I am really wondering if Jamie even wanted to get the hint. She was in it for the cash.

I don’t like you in that way and don’t want to go out with you

Yesterday when my daughter came home from school, she told me about a boy that likes her and won’t leave her alone. They were friends and she thought he was cool but things recently changed.

He wanted her number and won’t stop calling/texting. He is also meeting her after each class to walk her to her next class.

She and her friends are forming a group for winter formal next weekend and they needed more people for the bus so that it’s cheaper for everyone. So, she asks this guy if he wants to go on the bus with them and he is ecstatic.

He tells everyone that she asked him to winter formal. As a date.

Now, she’s freaking out and has completely ghosted the boy but he keeps texting and showing up at each of her classes. She told me she is barely speaking to him at this point and he is just not getting the hint.

What does it take? Her being rude? How do you nicely say, I don’t even want to be your friend anymore because you are a creep?

“No, I didn’t ask you to winter formal. I asked if you wanted to come with all of our friends on the bus.” She goes on to tell me.

Eventually, she said, “I think I just have to say something.” Clearly annoyed at this point and because she has to see him every day, she figures that she has to make it clear for her own sanity.

He isn’t reading the room, obviously.

We both like to be nice to everyone, that is just how we are, but there comes times when you can’t pretend anymore. Am I right?

Eventually, you kinda burst. Wish her luck tomorrow. She’s dropping the bomb.

For me, I really hope I don’t see Jamie at Target anytime soon.

Have a similar experience? Let me know.

Get the hint, I don’t want to see this either.

If you liked my story, become a member and subscribe to Medium to read all you want each month, including my articles. If you use my subscription link, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Thanks for reading!

Much love, Michele