Nipple Madness
What’s the Deal with That?
Americans have a weird relationship with nipples; well with female nipples anyway. What’s the deal with that? Is it our Puritan ancestry coming through all these years later or is it something else? A woman can show her entire breast in public — on the beach, on the red carpet or just about anywhere else, but just don’t show the aereola/nipple or suddenly it’s over the line.
The weird exception to this is mothers who are breastfeeding their children in public. Even if they aren’t showing any nipple (because baby is latched on to it) it’s still considered icky and inappropriate behavior by many, despite the fact that literally, that’s what boobs are for.
Why are male nipples OK, but female nipples are too much? And why is it OK if topless women just photoshop male nipples over their own? Props for creativity, and for illustrating just how stupid this all is, but really, Instagram, Facebook and others, what exactly is your defense?
And how did nipples get so sexualized in the first place? I understand that erect nipples are one of the indicators of sexual arousal in a woman, but so is a flushed chest or dilated pupils. Why aren’t we rushing to cover those up?
I’ve had nipples that always look like I’m in a cold room since I hit puberty, and I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to minimize them or cover them up. I don’t need a padded bra, but if I go out in public, I nearly always wear one. If I’m wearing a sports bra, or shelf bra or hanging out at home without one, I pretty much always add in a pair of these to keep the nips in check. What if somebody comes to the door?
A guy once asked me why I’d bother with this — why not just let them out to breathe? That’s something a guy would ask because he’s never had to live in a world that sexually objectifies him on a regular basis. If I wanted a lot of attention (and disapproval) from a lot of random strangers, I might do it, but generally, that’s not what I’m looking for when I’m pumping gas, buying groceries, or otherwise going about my everyday life. I sometimes go braless in public, but only with my silicone pasties to keep my nipples covered up.
This bizarre social construct is so prevalent that I’ve actually internalized it myself quite a bit and can’t help thinking that clothing with a nipple-less appearance is more professional and appropriate looking (not that I always worry about being appropriate, but sometimes I do). One of my favorite outfits to wear to the lifestyle club we used to frequent was a short, clingy, orange nylon sundress with an open back that I wore without a bra. I liked the way I looked in it and I always felt comfortable wearing it, but I also always arrived at the club with a wrap or sweater to cover things up on the way over, even if it was 90 degrees outside (the dress is too clingy for pasties).
Enter the Free the Nipple movement, which started c. 2012 with this mission:
WE BELIEVE THAT AS HUMAN BEINGS, WE SHOULD ALL BE TREATED EQUALLY.
WE ARE A GLOBAL MOVEMENT OF EQUALITY, EMPOWERMENT AND FREEDOM.
Women’s bodies are legislated in dozens if not hundreds of ways that men’s bodies are not, although a few municipalities are slowly beginning to address that, at least as far as indecency is concerned. It truly is an issue of equality and I wholeheartedly support the campaign to destigmatize women’s breasts and nipples, but I also have to admit that I am unwilling to lead the charge in my neck of the woods. When it becomes more commonplace, I will be happy to enjoy the comfort and freedom of letting the girls go more unfettered in public, but until then, I’m largely staying covered up.
© Copyright Elle Beau 2018
