MENTAL HEALTH

Nights Like These Can Be Toxic for Me

Writing is cathartic and I’m glad to have other Medium writers around me

My daughter and weekend co-road trip warrior is enjoying herself in sunny Florida this weekend to celebrate her 32nd birthday.

Briana has always been a traveler, never fearing to strike out on her own. I say good for her. She will earn her master’s degree this fall — about seven years after attaining her GED. She’s creative and intelligent, and I expect she’ll go far in this world, assuming we don’t kill the planet off before then.

While she shops and enjoys the sites in Orlando, I sit here alone. My company this weekend includes Tabs and Bigfoot, my cats, Medium, and a 50-inch TV I bought for who knows what damn reason. It is nice to see the screen from across the room.

These are the most challenging nights for me. My tinnitus pierces the silence. I usually listen to music when I write, and maybe I’ll turn it on shortly. At least it will block the constant ringing in my ears.

Add in my depression, and my mood can turn sour.

When I’m alone, I think — usually positive thoughts, but nights like tonight are a bit darker. I was sitting on my couch, watching a Marvel movie, when the darkness fell over me. It’s not a pleasant feeling when that happens. Lately, I find myself writing on Medium during moments like this. Writing is cathartic and sometimes provides a mental lift for me, as it’s doing now.

Before I sat down, there was a pall sapping my will and my strength. But thanks to my readers and writers, I feel the darkness pass me by. Tomorrow is another day.

Say it to yourselves, folks. Tomorrow is another day.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for stopping by.

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