Night Terrors Keep Me Up at Night

Summary

The author is grappling with night terrors and a lack of closure following the unexplained absence of their mother, leading to uncertainty in life decisions and a struggle to maintain happiness in her memory.

Abstract

The article titled "Night Terrors Keep Me Up at Night" delves into the personal struggles of an individual coping with the mysterious disappearance of their mother. The author describes how this event has eroded their confidence and disrupted their sleep, filling their nights with anxious thoughts and a longing for answers. Despite seeking help from private investigators, the author is plagued by unresolved questions and the constant reliving of scenarios that might explain their mother's absence. The lack of maternal guidance has left the author feeling blindsided by life's choices and questioning their decisions, as they strive to live up to their mother's expectations. The family encourages moving on and living in a way that would make their mother proud, but the author oscillates between feeling that their mother would be pleased with their efforts and sensing her spiritual presence urging them to acknowledge her continued existence in their heart. The author finds solace in the stories of others, like Prince Harry, who have experienced similar losses, and turns to faith and memories for comfort and strength to move forward.

Opinions

The author believes that their mother's unexplained absence has significantly impacted their ability to make decisions with confidence.
There is a strong sense of longing for the mother's advice and the comfort of her presence.
The author is torn between the desire to move on and the need to hold onto their mother's memory, indicating a complex grieving process.
The article suggests that the author finds some comfort and guidance in the experiences of others who have suffered similar losses.
The author seems to derive some peace from spiritual beliefs and the idea that their mother is watching over them from a better place.
The silence and lack of answers from the investigation into their mother's disappearance contribute to the author's restlessness and insomnia.

Night Terrors Keep Me Up at Night

Living in uncertainty has ruined my confidence. It has affected the way I sleep as I constantly wonder news about my mom. As I seek closure from private investigators to help me solve the cold case about my mom, I relive possibilities that could have taken her from me. I try to move past many questions and live my life as normal as she would want me to. I know that she would have wanted me to be happy but its not the same with out her.

Confronting life challenges without the advice of my mother, forces me to use my own discernment leaving me blind sided by decisions that might not have favorable outcomes for me. I constantly question my life decisions and wonder if the next steps to take are the right one because I’m not living up to her memory.

My family keeps reassuring me that moving on is the best option. I should live my life for her and do my best to make her proud. Sometimes I feel that she would be happy looking down on me knowing that I’m doing my best without her. I also feel that she sometimes doesn’t let me because she needs me to know that she is still alive in my heart.

Most days I’m overwhelmed with questions and confusion and push away many of the things I love to do in favor of sleep during the day. However, restless thoughts take over my mind as I spend hours sleeping with one eye open waiting for something favorable to happen.

All I hear is silence when I wait in the void. My prayers are answered with silence reverberating into the nothing. I recall other people who have lost their mothers in tragedy like the Prince of England who lost his mom Princess Diana and had a mental crisis that turned him into alcoholism and partying. He was lost without her guidance and her lack of presence made him feel empty. I’ve learned through him and others that its normal to hurt and lash out but you have to get back up and move on with the memory of her in your heart.

I recall one who lost his mom and after his episode asked for a bible to help him heal. So I read and pray asking for peace to help me move on with good memories of her. The memories are all I have left as she keeps me up at night. Somehow she must know that I need her because she answers in the silence through the void letting me know that she is in a better place.