Niche? I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Niche!

News flash: Gemini’s don’t do Niches

When I began writing daily on Medium, I read everything I could find on how to build a following, connect on a wide scale, and turn the joy of writing and reading into a legitimate side hustle. The one thing I heard from virtually every source was that “finding a niche” is essential. They insisted that people must come to me for one topic and little else.

I tried, but Gemini’s don’t do niches.

It took me six years to do a four-year college degree, even though I was going full-time. I’m interested in EVERYTHING and pursued various majors like a Roomba.

I began college thinking I wanted a degree in theology, yet that somehow morphed into marketing, psychology, sociology, English, and various art disciplines. My final degree was in human resource management, yet not because I gave a shit about HR. It only happened because I needed to graduate, and my guidance counselor found that degree was the closest fit to my patchwork collection of coursework.

From there, I did four more years of college and got a doctorate in law.

During my thirty years as a lawyer and mediator, I remained upset that I didn’t feel like I was doing what I came to this earth to do. I was angry that a niche had chosen me rather than the other way around.

My wife at the time had pushed me into law school because, like the other women I’d dated before her, she wanted me to be a good provider. I shouldn’t have ever married. I really just wanted to do ME and pursue whatever made me happy at any given moment.

During my years as a lawyer, I also pastored a church, and in the century-old building where I had my office, I put in an art gallery. When someone came in to look at paintings, I joyfully left my desk to chat with them — anything to escape doing legal work. My wife was horrified and chided me often about being unfocused. She couldn’t understand that I’d rather be dead than trapped into doing just one thing.

I’m retired now, and thinking back, the happiest I ever was happened when I was a waiter in a great steakhouse. I loved my customers, had many regulars, made oodles of money, and ate like a royal before and after shifts. I was up late each night and slept in until 10 a.m. Every night, I went out with my girlfriends; we’d laugh, dance, drink, and play video games.

We saw every great band that came within a 300-mile radius.

It was a good life — until I got married.

Are you sensing resentment? Oh, hell yeah. I got married because I thought that was the thing I had to do. Intermingled with all this was my gender dysphoria and my attendance at churches that put being trans or gay in a category of sin beyond murder. This was last century, and being my authentic self was not an option.

So finally, I’m retired and have the world at my feet. I’m single and live in a vibrant, artsy town with literally hundreds of art galleries, great museums, and a dozen great performance venues. I even get to be the real me. I’m finally my pretty, vivacious, feminine self.

OK, fine, I’m sixty now, but I work it the best I can.

And the pundits on Medium tell me that I have to narrow down my wild ride of a life into one niche? Nope! Nada! Not going to happen.

I’m always going to be the Gemini Kaleidoscope reality of ME!

I am a trans woman, author, and former attorney and pastor. I’ve had an amazing life and look forward to telling you many more poignant and amazing stories. Please follow me and consider buying me a beverage by clicking here. Thank you.