Newsflash: We Already Know What A Matriarchal Society Would Look Like

Enough of this “women can’t rule” talk. Societies throughout history had women in charge.

Growing up in a right-wing, all-white part of New Jersey definitely left some marks on me. The biggest one was how normalized racism was in my community. The second biggest mark? It was how women were treated.

Even though we were “modern,” my hometown’s people don’t like women. If I got assaulted, I was blamed and asked, “What were you wearing?” When I was raped, I had a nurse tell me it’s my fault.

Understandably, I don’t speak to people from my hometown unless I’m forced to. I don’t like them and I don’t like how much misogyny I internalized because of their abuse.

One of the things I’d often hear is boys musing, “Could you imagine if women ruled the world? We wouldn’t have come out of caves and we’d have nuclear war every time she’d have her period.”

Could you believe that I actually believed that there were no matriarchies for most of my life? My school systems failed me when it came to actually showing me a world that was matrilineal — and honestly, I think it failed the boys by ignoring it, too.

Contrary to popular belief, there are matriarchies out there. In fact, the practice is still noticeable in Asia.

Asia currently has four different major matrilineal cultures that I could find.

They are the Mosuo (China), the Minangkabau (Indonesia), the Khasi (India) and to a lesser extent, certain polyandrous societies in Tibet. This is the closest to matriarchies that I could find.

All things considered, over five million people are currently living in a matriarchal society throughout Asia. The Minangkabau currently are the most widespread society practicing matriarchy, with over four million people.

Of course, Asia is not the only place where you might find a matriarchy. Ghana’s Akan people are known for having women as heads of the household as well.

The more I read about matriarchies, the more I realized what a major dynamic shift it is.

In a matriarchy, women are considered to be the leaders. As such, they are heads of the household and their last names are passed down over the husbands.

Let’s take a look at how the Mosuo do what they do.

Many matriarchal societies also allow women to take multiple husbands or practice serial monogamy. In the case of the Mosuo, marriage gets a little complicated. They practice “walking marriages.”

In a “walking marriage,” women live with their parents rather than their husbands. Here’s what Wikipedia had to say about the tradition:

“In a walking marriage, both partners live under the roof of their respective extended families during the day; however, at night it is common for the man to visit and stay at the woman’s house (if given permission) until sunrise. Therefore, they do not technically live in the same household, but they are free to visit when granted permission. Children of parents in a walking marriage are not raised by their father. The brothers of the mother (maternal uncles) in the marriage take on the responsibilities of the father since the father is not typically around during the daytime. Due to the separation of the father and mother, it is crucial for the uncle(s) to play a large role in the development of the child.”

Per the Wiki article, men have little responsibility in the Mosuo world. Women make financial decisions, dole out jobs, control the home, and guide the direction of the family.

Since everyone in the family lives in a massive, sprawling communal home, kids have childcare from uncles, aunts, grandparents, and more. From what I was able to dig up, the kids seem alright.

It’s worth noting that the Mosuo do not have a word for “jealousy,” per the Wikipedia article.

The Minangkabau are a lot more egalitarian and conservative than what you might expect.

Minangkabau women are still considered to be leaders, and family lines pass from woman to woman. Inheritances, last names, and family rites are all done through the woman.

However, unlike the Mosuo, Minangkabau society does offer a role for men. Men are considered to be the leaders in politics and religion, though women are welcome to put their hats in the proverbial ring as well.

Interestingly enough, the Minangkabau are a Muslim society — and yes, fathers are super proud of their daughters here. They remain the world’s largest matrilineal society.

In a weird way, the Minangkabau people are fairly conservative. Women primarily focus on the home, while men are expected to work on the trades. They are not patriarchal, per se, but egalitarian. Power is shared in subtle ways.

Traditionally, they live in large clan houses — just like the Mosuo do. Due to their Islamic beliefs, walking marriages are not allowed but polygamy doesn’t seem to be practiced, either. However, women are given equal rights to men.

The Khasi tribe is India’s indigenous matrilineal society.

While India is notoriously misogynistic, the Khasi tribe of Meghalaya are quick to show that it doesn’t always turn out that way. This tribe, which features 1.5 million people, have women in charge of bloodlines.

I found conflicting information here. On one hand, I saw a report of Khasi women saying they have no power. In that same article, it describes men asking for equal rights.

Right now, it seems like women’s rights are on par with men’s in most arenas of Khasi life. However, the influence of mainstream India seems to be eroding that power.

Women can be in charge of trade and shops. Women can tell men what to do. Women don’t join their husband’s household, but rather, he joins her’s. Inheritance is doled out by the mother’s line, not the father’s.

Oddly enough, the Khasi were not always that way. According to their oral tradition, a war wiped out most of the men. Rather than deal with children being called illegitimate, the society collectively chose to become matrilineal.

Traditionally, men didn’t financially contribute to their wife’s household, but rather, their original parents’ home. Men today often end up acting as caretakers to both their wife’s family and their original families.

So, where’s the issue? In order for decisions to go through, the matriarch’s decisions have to be approved by an uncle. So, how much power you have depends on how lax your uncle is.

Umoja, in Africa, is the most extreme matriarchy in existence today.

This is a lone city in the heart of Kenya that was established in the 1980s. Umoja, which means “unity,” was created as an act of rebellion against male patriarchy.

Women moved there because they couldn’t stand being subordinate to men, to escape violence at home, and to avoid female genital mutilation. The village also takes in women who escape from bad situations elsewhere.

Women of Umoja often go outside of the village to advocate for women’s rights. They sell beer, crafts, and offer education to neighboring villages. As of right now, only 47 women and 200 kids call Umoja home.

Because of the history of the village, men are allowed to visit but are not allowed to live there.

The only men allowed to sleep in the village are men who grew up as children within the city’s walls. Otherwise, they are SOL. Since this is a new city, there are no real traditions dealing with inheritance or similar.

Unlike the other societies I covered, Umoja is not a longstanding culture. Rather, it’s a collective of women existing as a subculture of the Samburu region. Knowing that, it’s not really certain where the future of the village will lead.

Overall, the more matriarchal a society is, the more egalitarian it seems to be.

I might be wrong, but hear me out. I’m seeing a pattern here. Unlike patriarchal societies, matrilineal societies tend to focus on the woman but still afford men their basic rights. It’s just that the roles are often reversed.

In all these societies, men can get an education, run businesses, and choose not to marry. They do not need a wife to survive. However, it does make it easier. The same cannot be said of women in patriarchal societies.

In a patriarchy, men often make the move to take away women’s rights — including the right to abortion, the right to education, and the right to hold positions of power.

The only subculture that I found that actively banned men was Umoja — and that was done out of concern for women’s safety. It is, for all intents and purposes, a refugee village for survivors of patriarchy-based violence.

For what it’s worth, these societies seem to be pretty wholesome and family-oriented. Parents get to enjoy their grandparents’ influence on their kids. Kids have tons of cousins from their uncles and aunts.

From what I can tell, it doesn’t seem that bad and their leadership doesn’t seem to suffer from a woman’s touch. Maybe the guys from my school days could learn a thing or two from them.