New Ways Biden can Help the People of Gaza

President Joe Biden (D-Delaware) is working hard not to help the people of Gaza who are starving because of an Israeli blockade.

For example, Biden is ordering the US military to build a port in Gaza to land food and supplies for Palestinians. This plan is stupid because it will put thousands of US military personnel on the ground in a war zone. Plus, it will take several weeks to build the port. During that time, thousands of Palestinians will starve to death.

We asked Biden why the US military couldn’t land aid at existing Israeli or Egyptian ports and haul it to Gaza. The president said he didn’t realize Gaza was near Egypt or Israel.

We asked Biden why he didn’t end US military support for Israel to stop the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) attack in Gaza. Biden said, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had promised him that the IDF would never hurt any innocent people.

When we asked if Hamas would attack US Army engineers and US Navy SeaBees building the port. Biden asked, “what’s Hamas?” Biden’s aide then told us to leave “because it was the president’s nap time.”

Therefore, Biden doesn’t care about the people of Gaza. However, Biden needs to fool voters by pretending he is helping the people of Gaza. We want to help Biden and his billionaire owners by suggesting ways the president can pretend help the Palestinians.

Ways Biden can Pretend to the Palestinians include:

1. Buy everybody in Gaza an Amazon Prime subscription.
2. Start a Go Fund Me campaign to feed the starving children in Gaza.
3. Offer foreign aid to Hamas so they will end their war.
4. Have US Army Engineers build an airport in Gaza so they can land aid there.
5. Pray for the people of Gaza next time I go to Mass.
6. Prove we’re not taking sides in Gaza by giving weapons to Hamas. Just ignore the fact they’re a terrorist group.
7. Just pretend the Israeli Defence Forces are not committing any war crimes in Gaza.
8. Bring all the Palestinians in Gaza to the United States so they can live on the streets of our cities as homeless people.
9. Build a giant tent city in the desert for the Palestinians to live in. Just don’t call it a concentration camp even though it will be surrounded by barbed wire and IDF machine gun towers.
10. Pretend Gaza and the Palestinians do not exist and hope they go away.
11. Hope that Netanyahu succeeds in killing all the Palestinians before Election Day.
12. Hope that some foreign leader such, as Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi or Chinese President Xi Jinping, figures out a solution to the mess in Gaza before Election Day. We asked Modi about this and he started screaming, “fuck no!! Please keep me out of this.”

So yes, President Joe Biden (D-Delaware) has many excellent plans not to help the Palestinians. Just as he has no plans to help the American people. Hence, Biden treats the Palestinians just like he treats the American people.