New Hipster Album Shocks Music World
A short story in response to “The Favourite Word Challenge”, with thanks to Michael Burg, MD.
Recent shockwaves have been radiating through the music world as a not-so-newcomer band transforms themselves into a Top 40 sensation. Once considered an insouciant group of barely-out-of-velcro-shoes hipsters, Contumacious Discombobulations, better known as “C*nt Bob”, has taken on a whole new persona.
“We were a bit kakakainis if you know what I mean,” explained bass guitarist, Flaccid Phil. I didn’t and he extrapolated. “We were really just a mescolanza of meaninglessness.”
“Yeah, fun, but kind of facetious,” adds drummer “Boom Boom” Bill Schlagzeugwh who started his career as a lyricist on Medium. “But now we want to profligate laughter and joy.”
Hope and joy are exactly what ripple through your core when hearing the harmony and chord progression in the title track “Just Fuck the Dictionary and Snuggle”.
Lead singer Sam Bowie (yes of the genetic stock and fame) invested 23 months living in Vietnam learning to play the đàn tre. His dedication and talent is obvious in the whimsical way the instrument whistles its way, sounding slightly like a porcupine being viciously de-quilled, through my favorite compilation “Popsicle Plethora”.
One of the most original tracks is the spoof on Nirvana in their harmonica-laden song called “Smells Like Teen Petrichor”. When asked about the inspiration behind this song, guitarist Lola ‘Swift Fingers’ Cithara, gifts full credit to her Dad. “I was thinking of the time Papa was playing ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ as he rifled through his stamp collection. He was such a philatelist. And it just came together.”
Response to this group’s fresh look at life has been astounding. After thirty-five years in the music business, I have deep faith that fans everywhere will be enthusiastically shouting “Mahola!” for years to come.
“Definitely reminiscent of one too many opiefest,” well-known music commentator Shania Twin (yes, the other Shania's hardcore impersonator) stated approvingly. “All the algorithms say five on a three-star scale!”
“Total mysticalfun!” announced Bryan Seacrest. “I LOVE the line ‘Embrace insidious melancholy and know I feel it too”. It’s in their song Evanescent Euthanasia and I see it on t-shirts everywhere now!”
“It’s truly a ludicrous shitshow of gobbledygook,” the Queen was overheard whispering to her slightly squishy, untoward private secretary. “And yet I love it! Especially that track titled ‘Grasping Golden Melancholia’!”
So, C*nt Bob, know that the world adores you! Je t’aime! Thanks for birthing brilliance! I look forward to more of your life-changing anemoia!
Based on Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg)’s challenge:
Also check out Jupiter Grant’s response to the challenge:
